Recent reviews by John CSGOSKINS

Raft: 150 Hours of Shark Bait and Starvation

After 150 hours in Raft, I’ve learned some valuable life lessons:
- Wood is Life: You’ll spend more time scavenging for wood than actually building anything. Who knew that in a game about floating on the ocean, the real struggle would be finding enough planks to keep Bruce the Shark from turning your raft into Swiss cheese?
- Bruce the Shark is My Therapist: Forget the peaceful ocean vibes—I now measure time by how many times Bruce has ruined my life. Seriously, this shark has it out for me. Build a new section of raft? CHOMP. Finally plant some potatoes? CHOMP. At this point, I think Bruce and I are in a toxic relationship, and he’s definitely winning.
- Friends or Frenemies?: Nothing says teamwork like your buddy “accidentally” forgetting to refill the water purifier while you’re halfway through dying of thirst. Or that moment when you both dive for the same crate, and suddenly it’s every man for himself. Raft has turned my friends into backstabbing pirates, and I couldn’t be prouder.
- Potato Economy: I’ve developed a deep appreciation for the humble potato. After spending hours fishing up a grand total of zero fish, those little spuds become the difference between life and death. You haven’t lived until you’ve fought over the last baked potato like it’s a golden ticket.

150 hours in, and I’ve got a floating junkyard, a shark problem, and a group of friends who’ve betrayed me over a few scraps of wood. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world. If you love the thrill of dodging sharks, starving with style, and watching your raft slowly drift into chaos, then Raft is the game for you.
10/10, would get eaten by Bruce while starving on a wooden plank again.

Rust: Where Friendship Goes to Die

Welcome to Rust, where the first rule is simple: trust no one. I started off as a hopeful survivor, just a naked guy with a rock, dreaming of a peaceful life. 10 minutes later, I’m running for my life from a gang of naked psychopaths screaming ‘friendly’ while pelting me with spears.
Built a base? Great, now prepare to watch it burn as the same 'friendly' neighbors raid you at 3 AM. Met a new player? Cool, they’ll stab you in the back the second you turn around. In Rust, betrayal isn’t a possibility—it’s a guarantee.
This game is a social experiment gone horribly right. It turns you into a paranoid, rock-wielding lunatic who sees every other player as either a threat or a future target. By the time you hit 100 hours, you'll be raiding your own friends just to stay on top. But hey, at least you’ll have a great story to tell... until someone burns down your base and kills your horse. Again...

EDIT: If you’re not paranoid, you’re not playing Rust right. 10/10 would lose all my friends again!!!

A Cowboy Simulator Where You’ll Lose Yourself... And Your Horse

If you’ve ever wanted to experience the true cowboy lifestyle, Red Dead Redemption 2 is the game for you. I’ve spent countless hours bonding with my horse, only for it to run off a cliff because I forgot that horses, unlike me, can’t swim.
But it’s not just about the horse, it’s about the endless possibilities. Want to rob a train? Go ahead! Just be prepared to spend the next 20 minutes figuring out where your gang is because, surprise, they’ve all gone fishing. And don’t even get me started on the time I spent carefully hunting for the legendary bear, only to have my kill stolen by a random NPC..
This game has turned me into a grizzled outlaw who cares more about maintaining a perfect beard than the state of my own camp. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

10/10 would recommend, just remember to save often... your horse’s life may depend on it.

Counter-Strike 2: The Art of Getting Shot... in Style!

I booted up CS2 thinking I was ready to dominate. Turns out, I only dominated the 'Most Creative Ways to Get Shot' leaderboard. From flashing myself to defusing the wrong bomb site, this game taught me the art of tactical disaster. My aim is so bad that my teammates now call me 'The Tactical Pacifist'. But hey, every headshot I land feels like Olympic gold, even if I get rekt by a 12-year-old with a better gaming chair. 'Git Gud or uninstall' has never felt so real.

10/10, would recommend this emotional rollercoaster to anyone who enjoys high-stakes gaming and salty tears!

Get in the boat, BOY!

If you thought parenting was tough, try raising a kid while being hunted by Norse gods. Between throwing my magical axe and hearing 'BOY' every 5 minutes, I’ve truly learned the art of dad jokes in godlike proportions.

Kratos' beard alone deserves its own game. 10/10 would smash pots and hug a tree with Atreus again.