This may or may not be a sex ad. I don't know yet. It's not important. What is important is that I need a young man, between 18 and 29 to get over here and spend many hours of his time playing killer7 on my GameCube, because it is brilliant, and because no ♥♥♥♥ he ever sucks or strokes or receives will ever be as important as experiencing killer7. I am offering you the chance to improve your life, at no cost to you aside from some of your time. I expect this to be ongoing, because killer7 is way too ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ long (it took me ~20 hours to clear) and you simply must see the ending. It's a deliciously demented mental orgasm.

You must be at least 18 because killer7 is an M-rated game featuring extreme violence and adult themes. You must be no older than 29 because killer7 is the voice of our generation, and the surrealistic sociopolitical dialogue cutscene interspersed with shallow rail shooting will surely not resonate with middle-aged audiences outside of Japan. You must be a man because uhhhhhhhhh video games.

All those naked pictures of me are because I may or may not be naked during this. You are not here for me. You are here to play killer7, and only to play killer7, and you must not let me distract you from killer7. It is a singleplayer game so I will not be playing it with you. I might watch you, I might rub you. I might blow you. I might take a shower with the door open. I might fall asleep. I might play a different videogame or read a book. I might leave my apartment and go somewhere to eat. Don't expect anything out of this other than to be amazed by killer7.

If you seem awkward and unwilling to fully immerse yourself in Suda51's wacky and wonderful cel-shaded post-9/11 fantasyland, I will turn you away. Serious replies ONLY.

do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers