Recent reviews by Val Delphine™

-cut to me, a young and naive aspiring Helldiver-in-training
-pass my Helldiver training with flying colours,
-become proud owner of my very own Super Destroyer

-receive deployment orders for my very first mission to spread Managed Democracy to a distant system, just like in the recruitment advert!
-step into my Hellpod, ready to deploy in the name of Super Earth with a glimmer of hope in my eye as a fresh Helldiver
-prepare myself as my Hellpod shoots down to the surface of unknown planet

-as i check my surroundings the trees start speaking in binary

>i'm on Malevelon Creek.

honestly my favourite game in a looooooooong time
shadowheart is my favourite my chemical romance fan i can fix her i swear

12/12/2023 update: i have fixed shadowheart and she's into The Cure now

i feel used and abused
what a horribly traumatising game

i love it and all my friends love it and i love all my friends and they all love this game

6.5/10 every time i play this game witg friends i cry ill let you guess whether thats postive or not haha
im so tired and drtained rn

ball out mate

The ultimate friend experience!
Golf with your friends!
Have fun with your friends!

An actual party HIT!! everyone will have fun with this game!

I just played with 3 of my bestest friends in the world and boy, they loved every second of it!
I can't believe a game could be this fun. :)

<3

edit: it's months later, my friends don't talk to me anymore.
one of them decked his cat, the other two never returned.

i'm golfing on my own now.

first bought this game in 2012 on xbox 360 and again a few years ago when i got my PC, still one of my favorite games ever!

if only Borderlands 3 wasnt' an Epic Store exclusive.

i last played this gamne in 2018 what th e he l l happeened

beat someone with a broccoli

10/10 would broccoli again

this game gives me ADHD

got jumpscared in the first 10 f*cking minutes of the game

i have not recovered since then

666/666