RawrRawr ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

I'll have some glue plz

Billob snuck into my paddock last night and poisoned my prized thoroughbred racing horses. Those horses only had one race left until retirement. Now they're all dead and I've got more meat and glue than I know what to do with.

gobble

I recently had a minor cosmetic orthodontic surgery to replace my incisors with bad-ass shark teeth. After I had been sedated but before the surgeon began, Billob swapped out the paperwork for a forgery and convinced the surgeon that I wanted my teeth all filed down to little nubbins. They're very cute but I can only eat soup. 1/10 would not Billob again.

Billob won't stop feeding my dog. I've asked him several times to stop but he refuses. Now my dog is very fat and the veterinarian says he needs a lap band surgery.