I was never expecting my wife to leave me just like that.

It was December 2, 1992.
The cold harsh Winter was cruising in, as we resided in the comfort of our humble abode, sitting alongside the children and warming our bodies around the fireplace. The Elf was situated alongside the wall making sure it had a good eye on the children to report to Santa at the end of his shifts. The children asked me, "Father Drokthnor, what beith a memory that which resides in your cerebellum with times of misfortune and sorrow?" to which I replied, "You know, ‎Intel® Core™ i9-9900KS that is a good question."

I can't believe it was already 2 years after ‎Intel® Core™ i9-9900KS's funeral.
The local Clown, Vartex and Banjo player, Breeker were already slowly losing themselves over time after she had left our lives. What a sweet soul she was. If only there was a way I could see her again. I'll never forget the words she would always tell me and my wife before bed.

"Unexpected item in bagging area. Remove this item before continuing."

‎Intel® Core™ i9-9900KS was the last thing my wife held onto for a sense of happiness. After her departure, my wife, Darrel was fed up with the world and demanded a change of pace. She packed up her bags, took Red Solo Cup and left the following day.

I knew I wouldn't see them ever again. But was there really anything else I could do? Her mind was made up. And even if there was a sliver of opportunity, it's most likely already gone by now.

Sitting in my dark room with my Whinnie the Pooh 1997 Limited Edition Glock Extension as the light on my monitor flickers at a moderate 60 fps refresh rate, something caught my eye. I browsed the Steam Store and was presented with Never Split The Party. What an odd title it was. But it was different. And thankfully that was something I needed in my life.

I fired the application up.

I had never met another person in my life besides my wife and my children so I felt that I had to venture forth alone on this journey. My party consisted of solely me, myself, and I.

Not only two seconds in I had already lost 3 hearts. After completing my first room I felt a wave of adrenaline fill every single pore residing on my body. I felt renewed, I felt strengthened, I felt reborn. It was then after that, I executed the most complicated combo any man had ever witnessed in all of history and proceeded to snag the world record of 0:00:7.

At that moment, a knock was at the door. I approached in a calm and sophisticated manner. It was her. Darrel had come back to me and brought my son Red Solo Cup into my presence once again. She informed me about how she heard that I had just gotten the World Record for NSTP and begged for us to start over again. I was so happy. My very being just filled with pure joy. During this happy reunion, my daughter ‎Intel® Core™ i9-9900KS, who's body had still been on the kitchen floor after all these years immediately arose and presented us with a gift. "Great Thanksgiving everyone."

We had never received a gift like this in our lives before. It instantly struck a chord with my soul and my eyes began to water with the overwhelming emotion overtaking me. "I can't believe it... Canned Bread. I couldn't have asked for anything better."

As I wiped the tears off my eyes I opened them to be presented with ‎Intel® Core™ i9-9900KS quickly teleporting around the room, proceeding to grab my neck from behind, and evidently ending my life.

This game saved me. This game changed me. This game is short af.