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Netherlands
14 ratings
This is the New Economic Directorate (NED), here to inform you that your financial habits and lack of optimism have been flagged. YOUR SPENDING BEHAVIOR HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION!
You have recently bought a kilogram of tomatoes despite the current market price of 80 TL. This is considered an act of luxury.
Paid your electricity bill late, resulting in a 120 TL “economic awareness” fee.
Failed to clap during the latest televised “müjde” announcement, incurring a 15% national solidarity penalty.
We regret to inform you that your current economic compliance rating has dropped below the acceptable threshold. As a result, the following measures will be taken:
Bread prices in your neighborhood will increase by 50%.
You will be automatically signed up for the National Patience Program (Sabır Kart), which allows citizens to proudly endure inflation with zero benefits.
THE ECONOMIC REALITY CHECK As you may have noticed, our revolutionary economic reforms are working flawlessly. Under the New Turkish Economic Model, we have achieved:
A historic milestone in imaginative inflation reporting (officially 32%, but who’s counting?)
The strongest currency in alternative dimensions (1 USD = 33 TL, but don’t look at the black market rates).
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP
1. Work harder and spend less, even though the minimum wage only covers one-third of your monthly expenses.
2. Express gratitude for the “ek müjdeler” by loudly cheering during TV broadcasts. Failure to do so may result in a social harmony fine.
3. Consider donating your savings to the National Treasury Fund. (What savings? Good question!)
WARNING If you continue to display dissatisfaction with the economy, your Digital Citizenship Profile will be flagged as “Economically Ingrateful.”
VATANDAŞ OLARAK SORUMLULUKLARINIZI YERİNE GETİRİN. Keep smiling and keep paying!
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