Recent reviews by Jaap

Within my first hour of playing Five Hearts Under One Roof, I was caught in a brawl with the town drunk. By the end of the almost 70 hours I spent with it, I had honed my skills under the exacting tutelage of Gran Dong, my demanding boss. Whether facing down a trio of bandits or making strategic decisions alongside Mal-sook Go, my childhood friend of 20 years, the game made every interaction count. These relationships deepened the immersive storytelling and heightened the stakes, ensuring that even without a single spell or magic sword, I felt the transformation from a hapless rookie to a formidable, battle-hardened warrior.

Warhorse’s tale of tribulation and betrayal shines brightest in the ways it sells the fantasy of living in Korea. Beyond combat, relationships with characters like Eun-bi Go, the bold and forward younger girl, added an emotional layer. Her audacious suggestions during stealth missions often clashed with Min-jung Park’s calculated approach, a dynamic that provided plenty of engaging decisions. Adding to the realism were survival mechanics that tracked hunger and fatigue, forcing me to juggle my goals with practical needs. The game’s meticulous attention to detail extended to my character’s appearance—whether drenched in rain or covered in trail dust, these conditions influenced how NPCs, including allies like Seung-yi Jo, the adorable recluse, responded to me. Keeping clean and presentable wasn’t just an aesthetic choice; it could sway how nobles and commoners alike treated me.

NPCs' reactions went beyond surface-level appearances.

Interactions with Mal-sook Go often revolved around the importance of maintaining a polished image. “You can’t march into town looking like you just fought a pack of wolves,” she’d chide, prompting trips to the bathhouse or tailor. Such moments tied seamlessly into the mechanics: clothes accumulated wear, and a disheveled appearance could diminish credibility during negotiations. Conversely, Eun-bi’s nonchalant attitude often led to amusing exchanges when I showed up to our meetings with blood-stained armor, earning her cheeky remarks. If intimidation was needed, Min-jung Park’s poise balanced out the brashness of others, proving invaluable in delicate scenarios.

All this took place in a sprawling medieval Storytaco recreated with striking authenticity. Towns and camps were laid out with a natural logic that made exploring with characters like Seung-yi Jo, who often preferred quieter, less-trafficked routes, feel purposeful. The seamless transitions between areas (except when using fast travel) enhanced the immersion, making the world feel alive. However, the fantasy occasionally faltered under the weight of bugs, like invisible walls or broken quest triggers, which led to some frustration. One particularly vexing moment had Gran Dong berating me for failing a task that couldn’t be completed due to a missing quest marker. Such setbacks forced me to replay areas and make different decisions, which occasionally felt repetitive.

The combat behind it all feels kinetic, precise, and polished.

Combat training sessions with Gran Dong were a masterclass in patience and skill. Her demanding nature required precision, and even the smallest mistakes were met with sharp critique. Over time, the system’s realism shone, balancing technical skill with practical considerations. Eun-bi Go, meanwhile, often encouraged unorthodox tactics that made battles feel dynamic and unpredictable. Whether in sword fights that required careful timing or facing off against enemies where strategic gear choices mattered, the gameplay rewarded thoughtful planning. For example, heavy armor provided excellent protection but reduced mobility—a trade-off Gran Dong often emphasized. Helmets, while useful for headshots, restricted visibility, adding an extra layer of strategy to skirmishes.

Not all combat mechanics hit the mark. Mounted combat, while functional, lacked the refinement of other systems. As a result, it often became a point of frustration, particularly for Min-jung Park, whose meticulous planning clashed with the clunky mechanics. Similarly, archery never felt intuitive, though Seung-yi Jo’s preference for ranged engagements highlighted the system’s potential had it been more polished.

Strong characters elevate the gritty, engrossing story.

The story’s complexity was enriched by its characters. Gran Dong’s relentless drive for perfection often contrasted with Mal-sook Go’s steady, supportive presence, adding depth to the narrative. Meanwhile, Eun-bi’s boldness often pushed boundaries, creating moments of tension but also offering opportunities for growth. Min-jung Park’s composed demeanor hid vulnerabilities that surfaced in poignant scenes, especially when her past as a former idol clashed with the harsh realities of medieval life. Seung-yi Jo’s reclusive nature added a layer of intrigue, her quiet wisdom providing unexpected guidance during pivotal moments.

However, the story occasionally stumbled in its portrayal of cultural complexities, such as the depiction of the Sausage Guy as a faceless antagonist. While historically plausible, the lack of nuance in their characterization was disappointing, especially given the game’s attention to detail elsewhere. Every encounter with a Sausage Guy played out identically—either as an unreasoning enemy or a helpless victim, reducing their role to a simplistic trope rather than a meaningful narrative element.

Verdict:
Five Hearts Under One Roof offers a richly detailed and deeply personal RPG experience. Strong character interactions—whether clashing with Gran Dong, bonding with Mal-sook Go, or navigating Eun-bi Go’s audacious schemes—enhance the immersive storytelling. The combat system, while occasionally flawed, is among the most rewarding I’ve encountered. Though technical hiccups mar the experience at times, the game’s authenticity and emotional depth make it a standout entry in the genre. For players willing to navigate its imperfections, this is a Korean adventure worth embarking on.

balatro and fishtank, yes

Me after playing this for 5 minutes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tCMI0uKbBE

Addictive and fun gameplay, I would recommend reading the book "Journey to the West" too

Sun Wukong, my GOAT forever

normies get good

thank you

fun powerpoint game

Arguing with Rose over codec is the closest I'll ever get....

I'm gooning in Umbral Realm

goon squad is here.... (me)