I am the beloved emperor of Mamula and will be the leader of the world with my good friend Timppa after we have won the 3rd world war against every other country in the world. My great country Mamula is mostly inhabited by half meter tall mammus like me. Originally we come from the planet Pluto where we have a civil war against moomies. Now we shall take this planet and crash it to planet Muumimaa to destroy all moomies. Beware, we DO have nuclear weapons, and we WILL use them to destroy countries like Sweden.

Our only accepted religion is Mamuelism, where I am the messiah and saviour of our whole mammukind. Any other religions are forbidden and any mammus, moomies or humans with any other religion will be drowned, burned, hanged and shot at the same time. Our human enemies are muslims who want to kill us for our righteous religion. But we will kill them because of their heretic religion.

Mammus have existed on this planet for over (too many numbers) years.
You humans have seen some of us and our cousins, smurfs. We are very short and we don't fear cold, because we come from Pluto. We are the exact opposite of our belowed friends at Timor-Leste, who are tall and dark. The average height of a mammu is about 69 centimeters and weight around 30 kilograms. I am the supreme leader, therefore I am much bigger and fatter, because I get lots of food and ♥♥♥♥♥.

Pluto is small, like us, and cold, like us. Moomies invaded Pluto about 420 years ago and we have had a war with them ever since. We are slowly pushing the moomies back, but they have brought new fearsome warriors called mörkös, and they like to hit in. Now we have to destroy their main hive, planet Muumimaa.

Moomies, our greatest and only enemies, are stupid and fat, like hippos, but they dont have any genitals or ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Thats why they make a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ when they die. They explode and make ♥♥♥♥ fly everywhere. They walk with two feet and try to eat us.

Some notable mammus:
Papa Smurf
Santa Claus
Albert Einstein
ET
Yoda
that hamster called Awesome
all the cats in your Youtube videos
Me

Some half-breeded mammus:
Allubou
Tonibou
Ossibou
Lexabou
Timobou
Lettubou

Some twisted (weebs) amalgamations who still have some mammu in their blood:
Jukkebou
Tumppibou