Recent reviews by Note Makoti

I bought this to give my relatives panic attacks, 10/10.

Nothing quite warms my heart like spending two nights building up my dynasty and emptying my treasury to build a chicken coop or some ♥♥♥♥, only to have some guy named Sigurd ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and his merry band of 2,500 Scandinavian savages roll through and murder my whole family. Nothing like getting backstabbed in the middle of a jihad because Iran doesn't think I'm the "right kind" of Muslim like this is the cool kid's table at school and not a war for survival. Nothing like spending years building a steppe empire just so I could die and it could go to my clubfooted bastard infant son who literally everyone in my family ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ despises, oh boy. OH BOY. I sure do love getting cucked SUPER HARD by my slut French wife and getting stabbed to death by her 17 boyfriends when I confront her on it. I adore it when the Emperor takes all my lands away because he thinks I'm ugly. It ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ OWNS when one of my retarded courtiers gets drunk and tells everyone I'm trying to murder the king's daughter.

This game is great and also I enjoy eating ♥♥♥♥.

I went into The Yawhg expecting something like a Visual Novel emulating a tabletop session. 7 minutes later, I realized what I paid $10 for was a Visual Novel emulating a character sheet. You spend a few days building your heroes with jobs and chores, and the game ends with a pass/fail test determined by what stats you built. It’s the charming, quirky, digital equivalent of drawing straws, and while the Yawhg may be a good case study for developers looking to make choose-your-own-adventure type games in the future, it offers very little for people wanting an enjoyable experience now.

Gone Home is a 3D Adventure that plays like a “Figure out what happened” mission in an Elder Scrolls game. It involves walking down corridors and picking up badly hidden evidence of your family’s struggles along the way. Equal parts charming and clumsy, the story is brought down by an ending so cliché that it feels like a low-tier RomCom. It’s worth copping if you can find it for dirt cheap and you’re into these kind of “railroaded detective” missions, but it’s hard to justify ever buying it in a world where games like Morrowind exist for the same price.

Three words: Hats.