I literally wish I were joking. I made a throwaway so my buddies don't see this but I've got to tell someone.

My names Dan which is probably important to the story. A few weeks ago gf and I got high together and were just chilling when she suddenly starts giggling hysterically. I ask what shes laughing at and she tells me she decided to nickname my ♥♥♥♥. Fine, fair enough. She then goes on to say "Little Dan" was too common and the only other name she could think of was "Danny Devito".

Redditors it has been two weeks. She has not stopped calling my penis Danny Devito. She literally texted me an hour ago, and it said "How's Danny and his Devitos doing?"

And listen, it's funny. But the worst part is that I'm not sure she even knows who Danny Devito is. We were watching The Godfather and she literally thought Al Pacino was Danny Devito.

clone

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▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ gay porn delivery
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▀(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀​▀▀▀▀(@)▀

francis gaming

Francis Gaming

UMAI

Kirby looking stupid thicc in that new smash game

+Rep

Can you imagine the crazy ass abilities Katara had as a water bender? I'm not talking about fighting, I'm talking about sex.

Think about it, instant enema for her. She would be down for anal almost anytime of the day. Oh man, and the saliva play. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like this, but can you imagine being lathered in her spit? She'll tongue box the inside of your mouth and work her magical sex organ down your chest and on to your ♥♥♥♥. The saliva in her mouth would give your a whirlpool like blowjob if she really wanted to. It would be like having a rotating fleshlight with a tongue to make sure your ♥♥♥♥ is the cleanest it'll ever be.

╔═════════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═════════════════════╗
If you are a beautiful strong black woman, someone will put this in your comments.
╚═════════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═════════════════════╝

Copypasta is internet slang for any block of text that gets copied and pasted over and over again, typically disseminated by individuals through online discussion forums and social networking sites. Although it shares some characteristics with spam in the sense they're both unsolicited (and often considered a nuisance), copypastas are mainly spread through human operators whereas the latter is automatically generated by electronic messaging systems.

your anus hasn't been stretched to 2.7 inches? what a loser. i, for one, always make sure to do my practice every night. i slowly lube my anus and insert foreign objects, always making sure that i pack them in. when my girlfriend walks into the room, i shout "surprise" and ass blast her with all the things i have up my butt. usually its something like rubik's cubes, cameras, toothpicks, and small fighter jets. she usually screams out loud before realising its just my daily anal extension practise, and after that we have a drink together and laugh the night away. honestly, i think my anus can stretch up to 12 inches now. i have the capacity to pull my stomach out and just manually empty it if i ate something that's not great for my body. 10/10 would recommend

yuor gay

I mean, traps arent really gay because they have all the features of a woman youd be attracted to. YEAH its a dude with a pp and balls but hes kawaii and has the attitude to show for it.

What im trying to say, if loving traps is wrong then I dont want to be right

despacito^2

DESPACITOOOOOOO

TASUKETE

If you think about it... aren't we all just always in a first person shooter?

some people say that a full body orgasm can only be achieved if you go to the top of mount fuji and jerk off god himself lol i don't know i just jerk myself off because i'm eleven and my girlfriend won't let me have sex with her lol that's dumbs like ♥♥♥♥♥ i know you want it.

━━━━╮ This is memedog. Help
╰┃ ┣▇━▇ memedog take over
 ┃ ┃  ╰━▅╮ Steam Profiles by pasting
 ╰┳╯ ╰━━┳╯ him in other
  ╰╮ ┳━━╯ Profiles or he
 ▕▔▋ ╰╮╭━╮ will never be a meme dog
╱▔╲▋╰━┻┻╮╲╱▔▔▔╲
▏  ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔  O O┃
╲╱▔╲▂▂▂▂╱▔╲▂▂▂╱
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ℳᴇʀʀʏ ℭʜʀɪsᴛᴍᴀs & ℋᴀᴘᴘʏ ℋᴏʟɪᴅᴀʏs 💕

fist me

Lamentamos informarle de Que su Tarjeta de Crédito Titulado "Visa de mi mamá" ha sido declinada, Ninguna de Sus Últimas compras sin DEBIDO Será procesada a las Actividades sospechosas. Para desbloquear la Tarjeta para su posterior USO, por favor confirmé sus compras y Recientes El coste total de Con Su banco local.

El Listado es el siguiente:

> 3x consoladores monster dragon (15 ') - $ 89.99
> 5x una dirección Juegos de consolación - $ 299,99
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Before I watched Boku no Pico :
＼＼
　＼ ＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
　　＼ <　⌒ヽ
　　　/ 　 へ　＼
　　 /　　/　 ＼　＼
　　 ﾚ　ノ　　　 ヽ_つ
　　/　/
　 /　/|
　(　(ヽ
　|　| 、＼
　| 丿 ＼ ⌒)
　| |　　) /
ノ )　　Lﾉ
After I watched Boku no Pico :
／ﾌﾌ 　　　　　　 　 � ｀ヽ
/ ノ) 　　　　　　　　　｜ ｜
/ ｜　　( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°） ⌒（ゝ._,ノ
/　ﾉ⌒7⌒ヽーくー ＼　／
丶＿ ノ ｡　　 ノ､　｡|/
　　 `ヽ `ー-'_人`ーﾉ
　　　 丶 ￣ _人'彡)

Before I played DOOM :
＼＼
　＼ ＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
　　＼ <　⌒ヽ
　　　/ 　 へ　＼
　　 /　　/　 ＼　＼
　　 ﾚ　ノ　　　 ヽ_つ
　　/　/
　 /　/|
　(　(ヽ
　|　| 、＼
　| 丿 ＼ ⌒)
　| |　　) /
ノ )　　Lﾉ
After I played DOOM :
／ﾌﾌ 　　　　　　 　 � ｀ヽ
/ ノ) 　　　　　　　　　｜ ｜
/ ｜　　( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°） ⌒（ゝ._,ノ
/　ﾉ⌒7⌒ヽーくー ＼　／
丶＿ ノ ｡　　 ノ､　｡|/
　　 `ヽ `ー-'_人`ーﾉ
　　　 丶 ￣ _人'彡)

………….……………………. „-/*"\„,„,
…….…………………….¸„-^"¯ :\_ / o '"*'"¯/' BARK BARK
……………………¸„„-^"¯ : : : : : : : : ¸„,-~"
**¯¯¯'^^~-„„„----~^*'"¯ : : : : : : : : : :¸-"
.:.:.:.:.„-^" : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :- THIS IS THE BARKING DOG WIENER
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: : : : : : : : : : ¸„-^¯
.::.:.:.:.:.:.:.:. : : : : : : : ¸„„-^¯ PUT THIS ON THE PROFILE OF 5 OTHER PEOPLE
:.' : : '\ : : : : : : : ;¸„„-~"¯ OR HE WILL HAUNT YOU
:.:.:; :"-„""***/*'ì¸'¯
:.': : : : :"-„ : : :"\
.:.:.: : : : :" : : : : \,
:.: : : : : : : : : : : : 'Ì
: : : : : : :, : : : : : :/
"-„_::::_„-*__„„~"

▉▉▉▉▉▉◤┳◥▉▉▉▉▉▉ You have been visited by the Loominati.
▉▉▉▉▉◤┳┻┳◥▉▉▉▉▉
▉▉▉▉◤┳┻┳┻┳◥▉▉▉▉ Copy and paste this on the walls of the 5
▉▉▉◤┳━┳━┳━┳◥▉▉▉
▉▉◤┳┃┈╰━╯┈┃┳◥▉▉most MLG m80s you know or you
▉◤┳┻╰━━━━━╯┻┳◥▉
◤┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳◥ will be ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ by TheCarrotGuy

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░░░░░░░░░░░░▐▓▓▓▓▌ POW! HAHA!
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▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼Sorry, I dropped my bag of Doritos™▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ► ▼ ◄ ◄ ▲▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ◄ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ►

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╚═(███)═╝ WOW! You encountered a wild Lennipide! Only great people and friends see this
.╚═(███)═╝ rare creature! If you know a great friend, send this lennipede to them; It is a
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..._„„„„¸_...…………………………._¸„„„„_
./'.……¯'*~--„…….…………...„--~*'¯…….'\
Ì'ì\,.…_¸„--~~-„)…………… („-~~--„¸_….,/ì'Ì
...'\¯"¯-¸: : : : : ¯"^-„¸….¸„-^"¯ : : : : :¸-¯"¯/'...
…"-,„„¸/' : : : : : : : ¸„„-^"¯ : : : : : : : '\¸„„,-"......
**¯¯¯'^^~-„„„----~^*'"¯ : : : : : : : : : :¸-"..........
.:.:.:.:.„-^" : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :„-" "^-„.:.:.:.:.
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: : : : : : : : : : ¸„-^¯:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:
.::.:.:.:.:.:.:.:. : : : : : : : ¸„„-^¯ : : : : .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.::.
:.' : : '\ : : : : : : : ;¸„„-~"¯~-„„¸; : : : : : : : \' : : '.:
:.:.:: :"-„""***/*'ì¸'¯. . . . . . . . ¯'¸ì'*\***""„-": ::.:.:
:.': : : : :"-„ : : :"\ . .Brothers. . /": : : „-": : : : :'.:
.:.:.: : : : :" : : : : \, . . .In . . . ,/ : : : : ": : : : :.:.:.
: : : : : : :, : : : : :/ . . Arms. . . \: : : : : :,: : : : : :

BUENO BUENO QUIERO DENUNCIAR PUBLICAMENTE A ESTE ALIENIGENA CONCHETUMADRE, EL LOCO SE HACE PASAR POR UN SIMPLE HUMANO CHILENO, PERO CUANDO TE ENAMORA EL CONCHASUMADRE TE INVITA A SALIR Y WEAS, CUANDO YA TE TIENE ENTERO ENGANCHAO TE DICE QUE ES UN ALIEN Y TE ENGANCHA LA PULENTA TULA VERDE DE 6 METROS POR EL ORIFICIO ANAL WN A MI ME LO HIZO EL CTM Y YO COMO WN CAI 3 VECES EN SU JUEGO :s SI LO VEN TIRENLE SAL AL CONCHETUMADRE O MEENLO, ES MORTAL PARA ESTE TIPO DE ALIENIGENAS O ECHENLE SUS CORRESPONDIENTES ELEVADASS AL CONCHETUMARE POR ALZAO KLO
RUEGO QUE ESTE MENSAJE SE DIFUNDA PARA QUE SE HAGA JUSTICIA

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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are :

BUENO BUENO QUIERO DENUNCIAR PUBLICAMENTE A ESTE ALIENIGENA CONCHETUMADRE, EL LOCO SE HACE PASAR POR UN SIMPLE HUMANO CHILENO, PERO CUANDO TE ENAMORA EL CONCHASUMADRE TE INVITA A SALIR Y WEAS, CUANDO YA TE TIENE ENTERO ENGANCHAO TE DICE QUE ES UN ALIEN Y TE ENGANCHA LA PULENTA TULA VERDE DE 6 METROS POR EL ORIFICIO ANAL WN A MI ME LO HIZO EL CTM Y YO COMO WN CAI 3 VECES EN SU JUEGO :s SI LO VEN TIRENLE SAL AL CONCHETUMADRE O MEENLO, ES MORTAL PARA ESTE TIPO DE ALIENIGENAS O ECHENLE SUS CORRESPONDIENTES ELEVADASS AL CONCHETUMARE POR ALZAO KLO
RUEGO QUE ESTE MENSAJE SE DIFUNDA PARA QUE SE HAGA JUSTICIA

＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　|　Windows　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　[－][口][×] |
　|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
　|　Windows has detected that you did 9/11　　　　　　　　　　　　　 |
　| Is this true?　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　|
　|　　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿　　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿　　　　＿＿＿＿＿　　　|
　| 　　　｜Yes　　　　 |　　　｜maybe　　｜ 　 　 |Yes 　 　 |　 　　|
　|　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣　　　　￣￣￣￣￣　　　|

have u seen my bear tibbers?

. . . . . . . . .,'´`. ,'``;
. . . . . . . . . .,`. . .`—–'..
. . . . . . . . . .,. . . . . .~ .`- .
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. . . . . . . . _l. . . . . . . . . . . . /
. . . . . . . _. '`~-.. . . . . . . . . .,'
. . . . . . .,. .,.-~-.' -., . . . ..'–~`
. . . . . . /. ./. . . . .}. .` -..,/
. . . . . /. ,'___. . : /. . . . . .
. . . . /'`-.l. . . `'-. .'........ . .
. . . ;. . . . . . . . . . . . .)-.....l
. . .l. . . . .' — ........-'. . . ,'
. . .',. . ,...... . . . . . . . . . .,'
. . . .' ,/. . . . `,. . . . . . . ,'_____
. . . . . . . . . . .. . . .,.- '_______|_')
. . . . . ',. . . . . ',-~'`. (.))
. . . . . .l. . . . . ;. . . /__
. . . . . /. . . . . /__. . . . .)
. . . . . '-.. . . . . . .)

A level 100 Shuckle can potentially deal the most damage in one single attack through the use of numerous stat boosters; by using Helping Hand by two different Pokémon in a Triple battle, holding a Metronome, Power Trick, a Skill Swap to Pure Power or Huge Power, 6 Attack boosts, and a Mimiced Me First used on a slower Pokemon using the Defense Curl/Rollout combo. Also, Shuckle’s partner must have the ability Flower Gift and the weather must be sunny. On the 15th turn of using Rollout consecutively without any misses, if used against a level 1 Ledyba, Yanma or Combee with minimum Defense stats, that have been hit with negative Defense modifiers (such as Screech), it can deal 481,266,036 damage with a critical hit.

Hey, that's pretty good

…………………...„„-~^^~„-„„_
………………„-^*'' : : „'' : : : : *-„
…………..„-* : : :„„--/ : : : : : : : '\
…………./ : : „-* . .| : : : : : : : : '|
……….../ : „-* . . . | : : : : : : : : |
………...\„-* . . . . .| : : : : : : : :' |
……….../ . . . . . . '| : : : : : : : : |
……..../ . . . . . . . .'\ : : : : : : : |
……../ . . . . . . . . . .\ : : : : : : : |
……./ . . . . . . . . . . . '\ : : : : : /
….../ . . . . . . . . . . . . . *-„„„„-*'
….'/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
…/ . . . . . . . ./ . . . . . . .|
../ . . . . . . . .'/ . . . . . . .'| Give This ♥♥♥♥ To Everyone
./ . . . . . . . . / . . . . . . .'| You care about.
'/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'|
'| . . . . . \ . . . . . . . . . .|
'| . . . . . . \„_^- „ . . . . .'|
'| . . . . . . . . .'\ .\ ./ '/ . |
| .\ . . . . . . . . . \ .'' / . '|
| . . . . . . . . . . / .'/ . . .|
| . . . . . . .| . . / ./ ./ . hehehe ♥♥♥♥♥ <3

+rep nice glasses

This ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ guy

GET CONNECTED
😳
☝/||\☝
_/¯ ¯\_

FOR FREE (FREE)
😂
👇 || 👇
_/¯ ¯\_

WITH EDUCATION CONNECTION
👋
\ 😳
|| \_
_/¯ ¯\_

Le spooky spooks~

"ItZZ OhVuRwUTCh, KaL3 uR SeELf. Ch3Rz LoV!11!11 Da CALVINrYZZ 'eAr"

Goals

"Sweet Mother, sweet Mother, send your child unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in blood and fear."

Don't mind me just calling the dark brother hood

I hate my life

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin
naal ok zin los vahriin
wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan
fod nust hon zindro zaan
Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!

Huzrah nu, kul do od, wah aan bok lingrah vod
Ahrk fin tey, boziik fun, do fin gein!
Wo lost fron wah ney dov
ahrk fin reyliik do jul
voth aan suleyk wah ronit faal krein

Ahrk fin kel lost prodah,
Do ved viing ko fin krah,
Tol fod zeymah win kein meyz fundein!
Alduin, feyn do jun,
kruziik vokun staadnau,
voth aan bahlok wah diivon fin lein!

Nuz aan sul, fent alok,
fod fin vul dovah nok,
fen kos nahlot mahfaeraak ahrk ruz!
Paaz Keizaal fen kos stin nol bein Alduin jot!

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin
naal ok zin los vahriin
wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan
fod nust hon zindro zaan
Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!

﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽௵ cheeki breeki