Recent reviews by Beejay Simpson

this game isn't quite gambling, but it feels addicting :)

not too scary of a game, definitely worth having some friends to play along with

gambling is cheap and fun :) would highly recommend

I know a lot of these reviews are about "don't play this game if you hate yourself" and a lot of that, but this game truly made me find a lot in myself. It's not one of those games where it's justifiable to be mad at the game, nothing like Counter-Strike, Overwatch, League of Legends, etc.. It's a game where you realize you're better than you think and that you're able to do what you put your mind to. Yes, it's brutal, yes, it's probably harder than "Getting Over It", but by God you learn what you're supposed to. Would I do it again? Unsure, but am I glad I did? Abso-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-lutely. I've never had the time to sit down and grind something on this level, continuing despite failing, having the basic parts of the game take hours upon hours. There's several times where I opened it further down then when I started, and that was a difficult thing to realize. Getting to the top wasn't going to be easy, and as long as I knew that, and despite how many times I fell, that I would get back up, it was then worth it for the time put in. Will I go and beat New Babe+ and Ghost of the Babe? Maybe, unsure at this point. I recommend the challenge of the game, and I hope it means as much to you as it did to me. Time to find the next chapter of my life.


Edit 1: I decided to give New Babe+ a go right after I wrote this review, and it was the same feeling as the end of the base game. I had that feeling of not being upset if I missed the jumps because it was all part of the learning process. I probably spent a little too long for the early game, and it became less and less about not minding the fail, and became more that I wanted to be done with it. I couldn't grind the game without being a little upset, which I hadn't done the whole base game. At some point I reached a mental block due to things I had going on in real life, and I couldn't jump the same anymore, and it became more and more like the rest of the reviews; a mentally destroying game. I had to completely give up the game for about 2 months after crying in joy for finally beating an area, which was upsetting. There's a sense of comfort in achieving the level of skill you need to beat the game and the confidence that comes along with it, knowing you can do the jump without thinking. After those 2 months, I finally found the time to try again. Within 3 days and a total of about 6 hours on top of where I was at, I beat New Babe+ in just under 25 hours total, and overcoming all my mental setbacks. I still recommend the game fully, but if you've got a mental block and can't escape to the game, take a break and work on yourself, then come back, it's there with open arms.

Edit 2: I realized I was 2/3 of the way complete (game wise) so I just had to give Ghost of the Babe a try, and with this review being written; I beat it. Ghost of the Babe felt different: significantly harder, more punishing jumps, and a very challenging finish. The ends of the other games felt more relaxing to me, Main Babe being the easiest, and New Babe+ being significantly harder, but still a doable end area. Ghost of the Babe was the only game when I missed the final jump to the bottom block at the very end frame, so I would like to believe it was significantly harder. I completed GoTB in just over 34 hours, and a total completion for all 3 games in just over ~75 hours, in game time of 85 hours including speedruns/snake ring/other collectibles, but on the actual path to the babes: 75 hours sounds about right. I never thought I had it in me to do this challenge, but I wanted to feel accomplished for something more than just trading in CS:GO and TF2, and I truly do feel that way. I finish this with graduating college in a couple of weeks, and frankly I finally feel at peace.

I do recommend the challenge of at least main babe, as I said in the first part of this review, but the other 2 are for those who want to feel both pain and reward; as they are difficult but worth it I'd say. Good luck to all those out there, the babes are worth it.

Edit 3: My main goal at the point of finally beating all 3 maps was to finally 100% the Main Babe - No falls, Giant Boots, and Snake Ring. This goal of mine was something I put on the back burner for a long time but after seeing some YouTube video it inspired me once more to try and achieve something that I truly wanted. Within 4 hours of that video, I had achieved it - completing the Main Babe with all of those additional challenges. Truly I still believe completing this game gives a level of satisfaction and dopamine that no other game has done before, no achievement in the real world has ever led to a feeling so great. The 4 hours felt too short, so the next challenge is to 100% the entire game - definitely will take over 4 hours.

ok so currently im 2.3 hours in, and i've sat here with my calculator, inspecting the best possible route, the cap button is straight cap, it takes 7 years of college in pure mathematics to understand the BASIC concepts of this game. not one individual can spend a singular lifetime to understand even 10% of this game, it takes a lot of collective efforts in order to be as smart and intelligent (like me) as you need to in order to understand the game. im not quite sure i'm ready for the task that lies ahead, and i know i'll have gained 500 pounds of pure muscle (straight in the brain) solely from playing this game. the slaying of gods, oh my god, i disabled the newbie bonus because im not a ♥♥♥♥♥ like the rest of y'all, if you need it to progress? lame, if you ACTUALLY need to ascend? lame. im not quite sure you'll be able to make it in life if your brain isnt actually weighting you down to the point where you need a wheelchair in order to hold not just you, not just your cancer ridden nutsack, but ALSO a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wheelbarrow in order to move your brain around, with 6 hefty men, god slaying capable men even if you had to say, but that out of the way; i may have gotten off topic. only advance on the journey of this game if you have 6 phds in the STEM field and be able to have 7 scientific breakthroughs every month, or if you intend to at least brute force the game and realize that your time is done for; you want a girlfriend? not anymore, you want a family? not anymore, you want a job? not anymore, collect those food stamps and get settled, you need to slay gods all day every day. the afk menu? thats wasted experience, if you idle in idle games you're the scum of the earth, for real, this game requires dedicatgion for every second of the game that has been played and you need to be so intelligent with 6.3237 calculators in order to even begin to calculate the expectations of slaying gods, my msucles in my brain are increasing with every second of these 2.3 hours, i've spent the equivalent knowledge of having spent 800 years in university in just 2.3 hours, get out of my way everyone, im coming for that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ass.

great game; started playing in 2013, for whatever reason never played again with like 2 hours left in the game. ggs, ♥♥♥♥ wheatly, all my homies HATE power trippin

i got all the heavenly upgrades, all 88 of them in 100 hours, no autoclicker, im not cringe like that.
do i want to continue all the achievements? realistically no, but will I? check how many hours i have over this review to find out

wanted to wait to review until I had actually beaten the game, which took way too long to beat.

actually amazing story, amazing gameplay, just good game overall.

would recommend, similar to isaac

check up on your friends :)

so basically, if you decide to play this game with a friend, be sure to not jew all the money; they might be mad at you. also, if you buy caltrops before double shot, you're being disowned. just making sure we're all on the same page here, it's pretty cool though, just bloons and popping them and supporting violence among the colored community. no big dealio