Recent reviews by fake shonkata

CS is not just a game. It's a lifestyle. A very bad lifestyle that will ruin your sleep schedule, social skills, and possibly your ability to love.

Let me tell you about matchmaking in Russia. You join the lobby, excited and hopeful. First 30 seconds? Your teammate Sergei is already yelling at the family dog in the background. Boris? AFK because his mom told him to take out the trash. Anatoly just bought an AWP and is now clicking his mouse with sniper confidence—while missing every shot like it's his life's mission.

The enemy team? Full-stack of tactical gods from Sweden who communicate in Morse code and hit headshots through walls just to say hello. Meanwhile, our team strategy is just "Rush B, cyka." Spoiler: it doesn't work. It never works.

And of course, the chat... oh, the poetry of chat. If Shakespeare ever played CS, he would retire after seeing what gets typed there. I learned more colorful phrases in Russian after one game of CS than I did during a full decade of life in Moscow. Some are legally questionable to say in public.

But do I stop playing? No. Because there's nothing more beautiful than winning a clutch round while Anatoly plays hard bass in the background, and Sergei shouts "HOPA!" like we just won the world championship. Pure adrenaline. Pure chaos. Pure Russia.

10/10 game. I recommend it, but only if you're ready to lose your mind—and all respect for humanity.