Warning: spoilers everywhere. YOU *WILL* REGRET READING THE SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T EXPERIENCED THE GAME FIRST-HAND, ESPECIALLY IF YOU GREW UP WITH THE ORIGINAL SEGA GENESIS SONIC GAMES.

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As someone who grew up with Sonic way, way back on the Sega Genesis, and as someone grew to avoid Sonic entirely since about Adventures 2, I really only got this game out of pure boredom while feeling the lows of real life. I did a little research - 8 returning levels, which I automatically went "yawn", 4 brand new levels, to which I've figured "they've been out of ideas for 15+ years", and I really only played because it was $20, and I figured maybe I'll get a cheap thrill out of some nostalgia for an hour. Meh, whatever, etc. (If I sound cynical here, that's because I really was, and I had legitimately no idea what I would be in for with this game)

...And then I burned down a thorn bridge with a fire shield.

You have no idea how much I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HATED those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ thorn bridges when I was a kid, and here I am, 20+ years later, finally getting my revenge. I had to pause for a minute when I first burned it down because it was entirely on accident, and had long since given up on getting revenge on something that had given me so much ♥♥♥♥ back when I was a toddler playing Sonic. I temporarily put most of my cynicism aside for that minute to concede that was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cool.

It actually took me a while to realize they totally re-did the old levels. The very start of each level is just as I remember it, but aside from a spot here and there, everything felt new, even in Green Hill, which is a map I could have sworn I knew better than the back of my hand. I recognized the first water-rising part in Chem Plant act 1 for sure.

Chemical Plant act 2 then did something 99.99% other videogames failed to make me do in a long, long time: put a smile on my face. A real, legitimate smile out of pure joy. This is probably the first part of the game that seriously started to turn me away from my cynicism - the syringes with the bouncy gel, the adhesive purple gel, that DNA transporter bubble thing - not only were they blended together to make one hell of a fun level, but I especially can appreciate the fact they make sense to use in the context of the level setting itself. That ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ music, too, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I had no idea what was happening, but I knew I was on one hell of a ride, and it was, dare I say... FUN.

And then, yes, the greatest surprise boss fight I've EVER seen. I absolutely lost my ♥♥♥♥.

Then, the real test began with the first of the new stages: Studiopolis. Ho. ly. ♥♥♥♥. This is probably now my personal favorite stage in ANY Sonic game EVER. Going in, I initially had my doubts, but the Act 1 boss absolutely blew me away. It felt like Grand Theft Sonic, and the little breaks for rings PERFECTLY embody what rings should be in a Sonic game. Each ring, no matter the placement, compared to what I remember from the old games, have a greater feeling of importance and value, and builds tension, which [this tension] was something I probably wouldn't have expected to see in a Sonic game excecuted pretty much perfectly.

And I'm not even going into Act 2.

Act 2 made Studiopolis not only my personal favorite act, but may also objectively be the greatest act in Sonic history, as far as my memory would go, at least. This was absolutely magical from start to finish, and had any less effort be put into this game so far, I would have been absolutely PISSED they made an applause sign a mandatory sight on the route. Normally, in any other video game, I'd see a visual like that applause sign as a pitiful attempt by the designers to arrogantly push the fact they allegedly did their best and pulled out all the stops when they generally really didn't, and do so in a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ level. Not this one. These ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ earned the right to put up that applause sign because this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ map seriously deserves a standing ovation. It's absolutely PERFECT.

As much as I'd hate to admit it, I still wasn't 100% sold that this would possibly be the greatest Sonic game of all time. Not yet. So far, so good, for sure, but it's still early yet (for *me*) to determine if I can consider this game to truly be a great game.

Unfortunately, Flying Battery Zone didn't make much of a case for this game to be great in my eyes...

...Flying Battery Zone made this game truly something special.

The exact moment I felt this way came in Flying Battery act 1. The lightning shield almost did it, but the critical moment came when I saw the heaps of scrapped enemies from other Sonic games in junk bins. I was thinking of all the enemies I faced as a little kid, and how many times I jumped them to death, and here they ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ are, the shells of my past enemies laying down, broken, neglected, defeated - THIS is where I knew this game is something really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ special. I'm not even talking about the boss (another awesome boss fight), I just happened to come across a junk heap while exploring.

For only the most exceptionally awesome video games will I attempt to go out of my way to actually tell people about it.

I legitimately felt like a kid again. I'm playing a Sonic game for the first time all over again. Until this point, I forgot what it was like to play, and fall in love with, Sonic. I've been endlessly burned by virtually every Sonic past K (or even adventures 1), and I just realized at this point that I had maintained a smile on my face since about halfway through Green Hill act 1 (and still haven't seen the FBZ A1 boss).

Flying Battery was always my favorite level, and had my favorite sound track in any Sonic game, and they did this map and this theme justice, and then some, and then even more. And then I find myself in a thunderstorm with the Act 2 music blaring. RAIN. WEATHER EFFECTS. IN A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 2D SONIC GAME.

The nostalgia goggles were officially off. I legitimately developed a true grass-roots love for this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game. And then another awesome, creative as hell boss fight.

Aside from maybe the Act 1 boss fight (admit it, we all just abused invisibility frames the first time we saw it), Press Garden is another testament to the fact there still are new things that can be done in Sonic games. Another mechanic I never thought of seeing: getting frozen is actually a benefit.

Never played Sonic CD, but aside from constant "oh ♥♥♥♥" fast and spring launcher parts up to the Stardust Speedway Act 2 boss, I'm not sure I can really make any remarks on Stardust, and, while we're at it, the same goes Metallic Madness. I'm of the opinion that Stardust Act 2 and both Metallic Madness bosses seriously saved their respective stages. Maybe in another 20 years I can get revenge on those hi-low spear things.

For the longest time, while I still knew it was a good theme, and I still love hearing the Genesis version, it felt to me the theme for Hydrocity was missing something. T-Lope not only patched it up, but made it so that I had absolutely no problems with using underwater paths through an underwater level. The level design where I'm slowly chugging along the level in a bubble, miraculously, never felt boring (major assist of this to the theme music), and the boats were certainly a welcome addition to the dreaded water level.

And then I was reminded of the only ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ thing I hated more than those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ thorn bridges: the "escape from underwater with the map shrinking" part. Not quite the exact same, but vibes of that infamous water chase part from the Labyrinth Zone were certainly there, and were certainly distressing. Much like the thorn bridge, 20+ years of nothing but bad childhood memories flooded back in, but they made up for it in one of the most cathartic boss fights I can think of.

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This game is so awesome, I hit the character limit on this review.

TL;DR: This game brought great, great joy to me when I thought it'd end up as a nostalgia trip that would last about 45 minutes.