Most muscular 12 y/o alive – banned from 6 countries for flexing in public. 💪🌍🚫

Women pleaser since pre-school. PTA moms still talk about me. 👩‍👦🔥💅

Selling fentanyl to kids in chemo for profit. 💰💉🖤

Built a crypto empire during nap time. Rug-pulled my own parents. 🛋💸💥

Sniped JFK in a CoD lobby. 🎯💀📸

Mentored Andrew Tate, then ghosted him. 👨‍🏫🦸‍♂️👻

Diagnosed my therapist with depression. 😷� 💊

Bench press: your dad. 🏋️‍♂️👨‍🦱💪

IQ too high for standardized testing. They gave me a Nobel Peace Prize out of fear. 🏅🎓😱

Waterboarded a chess grandmaster for disrespecting my Blitz game. ♟️💦💥

Won custody of my teachers in court. ⚖️👩‍🏫📝

Vape clouds bigger than your self-esteem. 🚬🌬️💨

Once beat God in a 1v1. He ragequit and invented Buddhism. 🕹️🙏💥