Recent reviews by plaisi

milds

Meng Hao walked into the McDonald's. The cultivator taking his order gave a derisive snort, but Meng Hao did not really care, because he had repressed his aura down to the Single Patty Realm, and a fool would not be able to tell his true level of burger eating.

"Give me... a Happy Meal!"

The cultivator's face flickered before he finally regained his composure and laughed. "You couldn't afford a Happy Meal. Get lost! Don't you see that there are Double Quarter Pounder Realm eaters waiting behind you?"

Meng Hao slapped his bag of holding and threw 80 billion spirit McDonald's coupons onto the counter, causing an earthquake which demolished half of the restaurant. Everyone dropped their jaws. None could see how this was possible!

"I'll take that Happy Meal with a side order of fries, " Meng Hao said. He was as calm as the ocean in a painting of an insanely calm ocean. "And let me see your manager!"

The cashier cultivator coughed up a mouthful of ketchup. He simply could not handle Meng Hao's killing intent, because he was only at the Quarter Pounder with Cheese realm himself. Even though Meng Hao had suppressed his aura, because he had cultivated the Heavenly Burgin' Qi, this was enough to kill people a few levels higher if he truly wanted.

It was then that another man which a much more fierce aura stepped forward. "You dare make trouble here?"

"P... Patriarch Hamburglar!"

Patriarch Hamburglar was 99 cents of the way into the Big Mac Realm, plus tax! Meng Hao was pushed back two feet, knocking over a soda machine. Powerade Mountain Berry Blast geysered outward, killing several onlookers.

Of course, Mayor McCheese saw all this happen through the window.

Meng Hao coughed up a mouthful of blood, snorted, constricted his pupils, and then his expression went calm. He unleashed the aura of 64 patties, condensed down to a 2 patty stack that could fit into his mouth!

Mayor McCheese coughed up a mouthful of cheese. His pupils constricted.

"Is this... Seeking the McRib stage??"

Meng Hao had the gentle air of a scholar, but it wouldn't stop him from killing several people in a McDonald's.

"Burger Devouring Scripture! I'm Lovin' It!"

With the first keyword of the Burger Devouring Scripture, everyone below the early Quarter Pounder With Cheese stage exploded into purple mist. The light of the immense heavenly burger shone down with the contours of a golden arch as 9 illusory burgers floated around Meng Hao's body, which is probably an important xianxia number that matches the number of lakes in some sacred Chinese province I've never heard of. But that was only a fraction of Meng Hao's power. He waved his arm, bringing forth thirty more cultivation techniques that hadn't appeared in over 400 chapters!

"Heavenly Tribulation Fries! Eastern Everburning Egg McMuffin! Fruit Smoothie Guillotine! Soul McCafe Mocha Incarnation!"

Meng Hao's expression was the same as ever as he slapped his bag of holding, and brought out his karmic ketchup packet, Fry Cook Lord medallion, seventeen different wooden time spatulas, a five-coloured resurrection coupon, the silk burger wrapper, various souls of lightning McNuggets that he may or may not still have, and his mask of the legacy of Ronald McDonald. Oh, and the image of a flying Chicken Snack Wrap dragon appeared. Remember that? It was basically his Main Thing at the start of the novel, but quietly faded into irrelevance. Until now!

All of this takes some time to describe, but actually happened in the space of only a few breaths.

"What! Impossible!"

Meng Hao wanted to summon the parrot as well, but it was too overcome with eroticism by the purple fur depicted on a nearby poster of Grimace, and was busy drilling out a glory hole straight through the poster, and the wall it was pinned to, with its strong parrot erection.

But it was more than enough. The Hamburglar's soul flew out and was absorbed into his mask! He screamed as his body was destroyed completely.

Meng Hao brushed off his robe and swept up his spirit coupons and everyone's bags of holding which probably didn't have any cool sh*t inside unless I write him into a corner later, and anyways, don't worry about it for now. He surveyed the rubble that was all that remained of the McDonald's.

"Guess I'll be taking that Happy Meal... to go!"

I really wanted to like it but it's just meh. Just go play BPM instead.

The weapon themselves have good design and sound design when shot.
The music ramping up with hit streak/combo multiplayer and vocals when hitting the highest tier is nice to get you hyped up.
Some arenas have good balance between elevation with their platforms to juke enemies around.

Now for the terrible. Being able to shoot offbeat feels horrible. It's way too easy to lose the beat during fights.
Enemies do not follow beat rythm when attacking or moving, so you have to play this asynchronous game of dodging while not losing hit streaks via shooting.
The Doom-tier glory kill to refill your health trivialize early encounters, and then also becomes mandatory afterwards when the devs simply decided to spawn 5 elite monsters at the same time with a bunch of trash on the side.
Movement option is limited to a medium run, a quick dash and then for some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ reason a dash+jump that sends you flying across the arena, which you'll end up spamming in the later half of the game.
Enemies make no sound and can sneak up on you to ruin your streaks or flat out nuke you. There's projectile spam very early on with not very well thought out patterns. Lots of ground AOE spam, some of which just flat out slows you down.
Particle effects not properly showing what the beginning or end of said AOE hitboxes.
The final boss is pure vomit from a fight perspective. Projectile spam + AOE ground spam and whole gimmick is hitting the big glowing weakpoints Zelda style. First encounter was getting nuked to death in a second and wasting 30 minutes to redo the level and try again.
Unlocking sigils is just padding, which I can understand for a small project, but the balancing of said sigils (8 free shots on weapon swap, really?) and the levels they're unlocked in simply tedious ranging from absurdly easy to ridiculously frustrating (i.e Killing with Rythm 3, Slaughter Kill only stuff)
The story is simply dreadful. It would have been less offensive if it was simply a journey to hell to kill Satan or some ♥♥♥♥. The later third portion with background exposition about Paz and the Judge and fallen angel ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is a snoozefest probably meant for a demographic that has zero interest in your game in the first place.

Looks gr8, plays gr8.
Missions are sliced in 10-20min chunks. Ignoring the campaign which is a glorified tutorial to get you to try multiple weapons, the Squad game mode is where you'll sink the majority of your time. It boast 73 missions, all distinct from one another even if reusing maps.
The story is cheesy in a fun way reminding us of 80's action movies.

Before mission start, you select your loadout of primary and secondary weapons as well as grenades and all weapons perk associated with them (i.e Health recovery on kill).
After each missions you get credits which allows you to pimp your guns or buy new ones.

The difficulty and game loop of the game is being able to make quick judgement calls on how to dispatch incoming enemies spawning. Being it more on the arcade side, and thus allowing you to soak a few bullets. It's just as much strategy as it is honing your aim, requiring you to being able to quickly swap between rifles; grenades; snipers and rocket launchers to the whole cast of enemies which range from basic mooks, to shielded enemies, to minigun-wielding spacemarines.

Grab a friend because it gets really difficult later on even on normal mode.

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Entertaining for about the time it takes to boil a kettle of tea

Fartshart

Huge delay (1s+) before spells doing damage, getting stunlocked to death and frequent one-shot. Not enough blink charges to dodges everything. If you don't insta-kill a pack with the proper elements you'll get ♥♥♥♥ on later on from the attrition.

Art-style is what you'd expect from the Trine series which is good. Everything gameplay related is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ garbage and is a complete insult to anyone buying this game.

Yeah and co-op doesn't make it any better.

It's alright but not great

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