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To Smatter,
My client would like to state the following foreword:
“What the ♥♥♥♥ did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little ♥♥♥♥♥? You ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ know what you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ owe me, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cheap sumovabitch. You think you can get out of this ♥♥♥♥ with some legal ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wording, you weasel? I’m the KING of this ♥♥♥♥. I will CONTINUE to be the KING of this ♥♥♥♥. You WILL give me what you owe ME on a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ silver platter” [original wording].
In light of this, the collector would remind the debtor that the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA) only applies to jurisdictions within the United States of America. The collector would also remind the debtor that their proceedings have been conducted in full accordance with the Business Practices and Consumer Protection Act. As such, the collector would be in their full right to:
• Demand the payment of accrued additional interest of: gummy bears
• Demand proof that the initial product/service has not been rendered.
• Remind the debtor that they have a video recording of the initial product/service being rendered to the appropriate person.
• That the Statue of Limitations does not apply as it has been under two years.
Sincerely,
Your moms house
This comment has been published as another, among many, notices against your unsubstantiated calls for payment of numerous articles of Ben and Jerry’s 473 ml Ice Cream, cookies, donuts, and a Poppas pizza. These unmerited requests have been on-going for weeks and must cease by court order.
If you do not desist from your illicit dessert activities, I am in my full-right to raid your pantry and freezer for the following goods: 2L of 6 month-old Wakanda Forever Diet Sprite, a thought-provoking picture of Widowmaker and Tracer from the hit-video game series Cuphead, and stinky cheese.