he's 6'7 200lbs lean, saved my grandmother from a burning building thank you so much bro

-rep After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard♥♥♥♥♥♥push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was ♥♥♥. Don't trust this guy.

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Own a camel for home defense, since that's what Allah intended. Four infidels break into my house. 'What the devil?' As I grab my turban and AK-47. Blow a golf ball sized spitball on the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Makarov on the second man, miss him entirely because it's 9x18 and nails the neighbors llama. I have to resort to the oil rig mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with crude oil, ' ﷽ lads' the crude oil melts two men in the blast, the sound and extra oil barrels set off car alarms. Fix saif and charge the last terrified infidel. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive they cannot reach the top of the Burj Khalifa in time. Just as Allah intended.