James "Jimmy" Cooper is a fictional character on the FOX television series The O.C., portrayed by Tate Donovan. He is often described as extremely unreliable, immature and cowardly, due to his actions. (e.g. stealing his client's money, borrowing money from dangerous men and failing to pay them back). However, he's also shown to be a loving father and was far closer to his daughter, Marissa, than her mother was. He was known to be talk of the town with his good looks and was Sandy Cohen's rival for his wife Kirsten Cohen.

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Chinese year of the deadlift, brah.

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He strolls into the room in nothing but a towel, beads of water glistening on his CHEST. You try to say hello but your mouth won't respond, so you simply stare, lips agape in wonder. He barely notices you as he prepares his breakfast, his every movement tensing a different muscle. Your eyes dart from tricep to bicep, from deltoids to pectorals as they struggle to capture every magnificent movement of this broad-shouldered Adonis. He turns to you and speaks, his voice calm but smokey, his every word flows around you like the ocean. You try to work out what he says but you are too captivated but the slow heaving of his CHEST. He speaks again but louder, clearer. This time you make out every word.

"My eyes are up here, Grandma."



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Name: Buck Füttin

Occupation: Sporting Legend

Favourite Television Show: Sports

Favourite Childhood Memory: We were playing the local nuns football team in a touch game to warm up for the start of the season. We were 18 points down with two minutes to go and the coach put me on the court for the first time in the game. By the time the final siren went the nuns had forfeited due to injury. Mah daddy bought me a hun'ed wings that night.

Favourite Colour: Its a tough decision. Its hard to pick between American Flag red, American Flag blue and lilak.

Favourite Animal: Mexican Fighting Bear

What's one piece of advice would you give a child? When you're 23 and long on the bottom of the 12th inning and you're point guard just snapped his achilles tendon, do you drop your head? No. You stand up in front of all those people and show 'em you can bowl a three hun'ed just as good as the next man.

How would you describe yourself in 10 words or less? Baby, I ain't nuttin' but Füttin

What is your perfect date? You gettin' a nuttin' from Füttin.

Plans for the future? Give it 110%

Notable features? Absolutely humongous ejaculate volume. Big as the mississippi I tell you hhhwat.

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I best penis for thump in village. Everyone want to share thump because they are communism. Is not my dream. I engorge for online thump only.

If you are scared, you will be thump.
If you are rude, you will be thump.
If you are Polak, you will be thump.
If you are capitalist dog, you will be thump.
If you woman, you will be thump.
You will all be thump. Because we are all communism.

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Having recently discovered that his super-speed powers drain him on his life force, reducing his lifespan exponentially, we join our hero, the soft of skull Speed Fetus on a quest to find his mother and re-enter her womb, allowing him to complete his development into speed baby. The road ahead is full of perils. Can he risk using his speed powers? Will he find his mothers warm, inviting uterus or shall he fail and be forced into a short life of self-induced fetal alcohol syndrome? Will Penelope ever accept the fact that her husband was just a fetus in a cool mask?

Find out on this weeks episode: Journey to the Placenta of the Earth