| *W*H*Y* N*E*O*N

The Tenor Gif Guy

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Hall Of Amazing Quotes

You got 3 bricks and 3 witnesses, you do the math?

Some woman tried to get me kicked out of a McDonalds because apparently I was a Russian extremist. Because displaying any kind of Cyrillic means you're a Russian apparently.

>wave at neighbors who are gawking out their window and yell seasons greetings at them in Lithuanian

Can we raise a Bitcoin fund for the cartels to assassinate him in minecraft?

I make my own fireworks, the cheap way.

>Me, "Do you have M-80s"
>Mexican Fireworks Dealer, "Si."
>Me, "Do you have M-1000s?"
>Mexican Fireworks Dealer, "Si."
>Me, "What's the biggest thing you have?"
>Mexican Fireworks Dealer, [in a serious tone with a straight face] "What do you want to blow up?"
>Me, "I'll just take a box of those triangles there."
I wish I still had connections.

A good friend of mine served 7 tours overseas mostly as a combat medic. When he first got home he took his dog to the park, stepped on one of those automatic sprinkler heads and couldn’t step off of it because he thought it was a landmine. Pissed his pants and thought he was going to die. He spend a lot of time in minefields in former Yugoslavia and Afghanistan, watching people get blown up in minefields and then treating wounds from them.
Never did he campaign for removing automic sprinkler systems...

♥♥♥♥ lads, they didn’t have steam cards. Gonna have to do a trip down to the shops. The roo is awake now so I’ll fill her up and get hoppin

I've got another one I guess. It was an accidental death, at a range, negligent discharge of a large steel door
>favourite range is upgrading the armoury
>huge bankvault type door
>got it up on a forklift
>engineer guy is in front of it, waving it in
>forklift tips and door lands on him
>crushes him, guy lives until fire brigade drop the door on him a second time when removing it.
>ND - negligent door

i wouldn't mind if it was just an hour and a half of a gordon bhopping and styling on grunts like a madman

>Ricky, you're so full of ♥♥♥♥ you wouldn't even die if somebody shot you in the head
>You got ♥♥♥♥ for brains you absolute ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Bottle rockets have pretty weak capacity for carrying loads. Unlike your mother.

>When even Shadman isn't interested in your niche fetish

These ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Eastern Europe wars are the quantum theory of history. I read about them, barely manage to understand what the ♥♥♥♥ was happening and then proceed to completely forget it 2 weeks later.

The more you know about the Yugoslavian war the less you feel inclined to joke about it.

those monster cans are cold to the hand, straight from the fridge for the freshest sip

A long stick or car antenna to the neck will disable them permanent

Somehow the actual caption of this picture isn’t "Florida Man Banned From Walmart."

>furry charges up the supersoaker and chases after doc
>just as he is about to blow his load doc gives him a prostate exam
>mfw
this ♥♥♥♥♥ got some iffy stiffy

>Because NORMIES are autists and don't understand anything regarding the divinity of life or the numinous aspects of existence.