Recent reviews by ParRaindrop9946 ✞

im being forced against my f@kin will to play this flipping joke of a game since my friends are like heroin addicts addicted to the nostalgia of the old verdansk map so wish me luck

Ah, 'Skyrim Special Edition'. The game that keeps re-releasing like it's the Beyoncé of RPGs. It’s the same *Skyrim* we’ve loved since 2011, except now it’s got *slightly shinier water* and NPCs who can glitch in *ultra-HD*.

You start as a prisoner, of course, because Bethesda loves to throw you into existential crises right from the get-go. "Who am I? Why am I here? Did Todd Howard personally handcraft this cart ride of destiny?" But before you can ponder these deep questions, you’re nearly dragon-barbeque. Enter Alduin, a giant flying lizard who screams "YOU" while you, being the chosen one, pick the "I’ll deal with this later" dialogue option and bolt.

From there, *Skyrim Special Edition* becomes the ultimate ADHD simulator. Sure, there’s a *main quest* to save the world, but why do that when you can spend 40 hours looting sweet rolls and yelling "FUS RO DAH" at goats? Dragons are terrorizing the land, but excuse me, I need to build my lakeside manor with the Hearthfire DLC and adopt 12 children to aggressively flex my parental supremacy.

The game’s true masterpiece? The glitches. You’re not a true *Skyrim* player until you’ve seen a giant launch you into orbit with a single swat, or you’ve found an NPC casually moonwalking up a mountain while telling you about their tragic skeever problem. And let’s not forget the most relatable moment: shouting at Lydia to "move, FOR THE LOVE OF TALOS" while she blocks a doorway like she's auditioning for Skyrim's Got Talent.

Graphics-wise, it’s definitely prettier. The sunsets are gorgeous, and the water sparkles as if Todd Howard dipped it in fairy dust. That said, the mud crabs still look suspiciously like they're plotting to overthrow the Empire. If anything, the *Special Edition* reminds you that *Skyrim*’s true charm was never about realism—it was about doing whatever you want.

You want to be a stealth archer? Congrats, so does literally everyone else. Want to roleplay as a pacifist khajiit who only trades cabbages? No judgment here. Or maybe you want to become the thane of every hold while hoarding wheels of cheese in your basement. The world is your oyster (or at least your horker meat).

Oh, and mods? Don’t even get me started. Mods are the reason Skyrim has aged better than my 2011 iPod Touch. One moment you’re downloading "Immersive Trees," and the next you’re riding Thomas the Tank Engine into battle against Macho Man Randy Savage dragons. Who needs lore accuracy when you have chaos?

In conclusion, *Skyrim Special Edition* isn’t just a game. It’s a lifestyle. It’s a place where you can laugh, cry, and occasionally scream at a wolf ambushing you for the 9,000th time. If you’ve never played it, what are you even doing with your life? And if you *have* played it…well, it’s time to buy it again. Todd Howard needs your money for the *next* re-release.

9/10 – Would yell at Lydia again.

sheesh kebab

Here I will leave the cat,
friends who pass by can pet it and give it a thumbs up and awards
　　　 　　／＞　　フ
　　　 　　| 　_　 _ l
　 　　 　／` ミ＿xノ
　　 　 /　　　 　 |
　　　 /　 ヽ　　 ﾉ
　 　 │　　|　|　|
　／￣|　　 |　|　|
　| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__)
　＼二つ

"Deceit" is like a twisted game of hide-and-seek mixed with "Among Us" on steroids, where trust is a currency you can’t afford and paranoia is your best friend. Imagine being trapped in a creepy asylum or an eerie forest with five other players, but two of them are secretly infected monsters who want to eat your face off.

The game starts innocently enough, with everyone gathering supplies and nervously eyeing each other. But the real fun begins when the lights go out, and the infected players transform into bloodthirsty beasts. Cue the screaming, the wild accusations, and the frantic scrambling to find fuses or safe zones.

Your friends will swear up and down they're innocent while casually drinking blood bags to power up their transformations. You'll find yourself yelling, "I saw Bob drink blood!" while Bob insists he was just inspecting it for freshness. The infected players use every trick in the book to sow confusion, and the survivors end up running around like headless chickens, unsure of whom to trust.

Every match is a blend of comedy and horror, where betrayal is as common as breathing, and even your closest ally could turn out to be a monster in disguise. In "Deceit," the only thing more dangerous than the infected is your friends' ability to lie straight to your face with a grin.


---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☑ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☑ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☑ Kids
☑ Teens
☐ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☑ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☑ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☑ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☑ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☑ Average
☐ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☐ Worth the price
☑ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☑ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☑ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☐ 10
ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴍᴇ ғᴇʟʟ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅʀᴏᴘ ᴀ ғᴇᴡ sᴛᴇᴀᴍ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛs ʜᴇʀᴇ ;)

As you see by my Minutes that says it all if you have no money just take a loan to get the real game AKA Gmod Trust me :)

"Metro Exodus" is like a camping trip gone horribly wrong, where instead of roasting marshmallows, you're dodging mutant creatures and trying not to get eaten by radioactive wolves. Picture this: you're exploring the post-apocalyptic Russian wilderness with your trusty gas mask and a backpack full of ammo, thinking you're on a scenic tour, only to find yourself knee-deep in mutated rats and wondering why you didn’t just stay home and binge-watch Netflix.

Every encounter feels like a horror movie scene where you’re the bumbling protagonist who keeps tripping over their own shoelaces while trying to fend off hordes of monsters. The storyline is like a Russian drama with a side of nuclear fallout, where the real drama isn’t the mutants outside but the interpersonal conflicts within your ragtag group of survivors.

Stealth is supposed to be your best friend, but it often feels more like trying to sneak past a grumpy bear while wearing a suit made of bells. And don’t even get me started on the crafting system, where you somehow manage to turn a handful of rusty nails and a tin can into a makeshift grenade launcher because desperate times call for ridiculous inventions.

"Metro Exodus" is a rollercoaster ride through a radioactive wasteland, where every victory feels like a lucky break, every defeat is a reminder of your mortality, and the only thing scarier than the mutants lurking in the shadows is running out of ammo.


---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☑ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☐ Workable
☑ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☑ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☑ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☑ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☑ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☑ 10

"Content Warning" is like playing a video game version of a really awkward therapy session. You're navigating through a bizarre, pixelated world filled with quirky characters who all seem to have their own emotional baggage. It's a bit like wandering into a self-help seminar where everyone forgot to take their meds. The puzzles are as perplexing as trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions, and the storyline feels like it was written during a late-night existential crisis. Just when you think you’ve got a handle on things, the game throws another curveball of weirdness your way. It’s heartfelt, it’s strange, and it’s a reminder that we’re all just trying to figure out this crazy thing called life—preferably without having a nervous breakdown.


---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☑ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☑ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☑ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☑ Potato
☐ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☑ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☐ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☑ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☑ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☑ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☑ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☑ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☑ 8
☐ 9
☐ 10

As an old guy with ADHD, my days are often filled with scattered thoughts and bursts of energy. But when I discovered Polygon, a tactical shooter, I found a game that brought back the satisfaction and camaraderie of my days in the service, with a side of humor I didn’t expect.

Booting Up:

I loaded up Polygon, eager to dive into the action. The low-poly graphics gave the game a charming, retro feel that immediately caught my attention. It was like the video game equivalent of watching an old war movie on VHS—nostalgic, yet refreshingly new.

First Deployment:

My first mission was a chaotic battlefield, reminiscent of my days in the military. I grabbed a rifle, put on my best war face, and charged forward. Within seconds, I was face-down in the dirt, taken out by a sniper. “Welcome back to the front lines,” I muttered, chuckling at my own overconfidence.

ADHD in Full Swing:

With my ADHD, staying focused on the objective was a challenge. I’d often get distracted by the game’s detailed environments, admiring the blocky trees or marveling at the geometric explosions. More than once, my teammates had to drag me out of cover because I was too busy analyzing the art style instead of watching for enemies.

War Stories Reborn:

Polygon brought back memories of my service, but with a humorous twist. In one match, I tried to coordinate an assault using military tactics I remembered. Unfortunately, my squad consisted of a teenager who wouldn’t stop jumping, a guy blasting music through his mic, and another player who was perpetually AFK. It was chaos, but it reminded me of the unpredictability of real-life missions—albeit with a lot more respawns.

The Medic Incident:

As a former medic, I took on the role of healer in one game. I rushed to aid a fallen comrade, only to realize I was out of medical supplies. Panicking, I started whacking him with a bandage roll, hoping it would work. To my surprise, he got back up! I laughed so hard, I almost didn’t notice the enemy tank rolling our way.

Tactical Triumphs:

Despite the chaos, there were moments of pure satisfaction. Leading a successful charge, holding the line under heavy fire, and executing a perfect ambush brought back the thrill of tactical warfare. The game’s mechanics allowed for real teamwork and strategy, and when everything clicked, it was magic.

Facts about Polygon:

Tactical Shooter: Polygon is a team-based tactical shooter with an emphasis on strategy and cooperation.
Low-Poly Art Style: The unique, low-poly graphics give the game a nostalgic yet modern look.
Dynamic Combat: Fast-paced, dynamic combat keeps every match exciting and unpredictable.
Community: A mix of seasoned players and newcomers, making for diverse and often hilarious interactions.
Conclusion:

Polygon managed to bring back the satisfaction of my military days, with the added bonus of humor and lightheartedness. For an old vet with ADHD, it was a perfect blend of nostalgia and new experiences. The game’s tactical depth and charming visuals kept me engaged, while the unpredictable nature of online play provided endless laughs.

If you’re looking for a game that offers both tactical challenge and lighthearted fun, Polygon is a great pick. Just be ready for the occasional mishap and embrace the chaos—it’s all part of the charm.

"**Gang Beasts**" is like watching a group of wobbly toddlers in colorful costumes have the most epic slap fight ever. Imagine a party game where you control a gelatinous character who moves like they've had way too much jello, and your goal is to knock your equally wobbly friends off various absurd arenas.

The controls make your character flail their arms wildly, resulting in hilarious attempts to punch, grab, and throw your opponents. Most of the time, you end up accidentally grabbing onto a railing or falling over your own feet, leading to a chaotic pile of flopping bodies.

Each arena is a deathtrap designed for maximum hilarity, whether it's a speeding truck, a collapsing Ferris wheel, or a meat grinder. Trying to stay alive turns into a comedy routine of near-misses and epic fails, with characters clinging desperately to ledges or accidentally throwing themselves into danger.

Multiplayer matches quickly descend into madness as everyone laughs at the sheer absurdity of it all. One moment, you're triumphantly lifting an opponent over your head to throw them off a building; the next, you're both tumbling off the edge because you couldn't let go in time.

In "Gang Beasts," victory isn't about skill—it's about embracing the chaos, laughing at your ridiculous failures, and enjoying the slapstick comedy that unfolds.


---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☑ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☑ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☑ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☑ Old Fashioned
☐ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☑ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☑ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☑ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☑ Average
☐ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☑ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☑ 8
☐ 9
☐ 10

ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴍᴇ ғᴇʟʟ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅʀᴏᴘ ᴀ ғᴇᴡ sᴛᴇᴀᴍ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛs ʜᴇʀᴇ ;)