Recent reviews by Cyber Cat 😺

One of my first customers ran up to me with the most angry face and PLEADED for some more Donkey Dookie. I told her I didn't have any on me at the moment but to follow me to my stash house. She agreed. Once we got to my stash house I realized I was out of Donkey Dookie but one of my colleagues just whipped up some fresh Pigeon Piss. Thinking if she's desperate and needing her fix, she won't be picky. She disagreed. She proceeded to pull out a switchblade and charged at me screaming. I turned around and ran for my life. She chased me through half the town until I hid in a dumpster.

10/10 would offer Pigeon Piss again.

Let’s be real, S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2: Heart of Chornobyl isn’t just a game, it’s an existential crisis wrapped in a radioactive haze. The air smells faintly of nuclear waste, the wildlife has a bit of an attitude problem, and your best friend is a rusted-out AK-47 that loves to jam on you at the worst of times. (Pro tip: repair your gear.) However, this game is one of the most fun and immersive experiences you’ll have. If you ever wanted to know what it's like to wander through a post-apocalyptic landscape where everything wants to kill you, but somehow still looks beautiful, this is your game.

First off, the atmosphere. Imagine the quiet hum of your AIO CPU cooler, the ominous wind howling through the desolate remains of Chornobyl, and then boom, you hear something scuttling in the distance. Your heart rate skyrockets as you realize, no, it’s not your dog. It’s a Bloodsucker, and it’s ready to rip your ever living jugular apart. Every corner of the Zone feels like it’s trying to kill you, but in the most beautiful way possible. Between the monsters, radioactive anomalies, and the weird guy who just wants to trade a can of beans for a grenade launcher, there's no shortage of things that’ll make your heart race.

Then there’s the combat. Ah, yes. The combat. It’s like the game looked at all your expectations and said, "What if we made this harder?" Every time you think you’ve got a situation under control, a pack of mutants shows up to ruin your day. The gun-play is smooth, trigger pulls are felt with heavy recoil requiring careful adjustments every few bullets. Going full auto spray and pray will not work out for you. (I haven't customized my guns with recoil reducing attachments yet.) When you finally get the drop on an enemy and you loot them, it feels like you’ve just won the lottery, if the lottery was 7 more precious bullets and a slice of delicious mouth watering stale bread and if you're lucky, vodka.

RPG elements. Decisions actually matter, whether you choose to help out a shady group of bandits (who will probably try to kill you), deciding whether to loot a building full of anomalies (which will probably try to kill you), or making the difficult decision between a mysterious artifact or not getting irradiated to death (which would kill you). The choices you make actually matter. One minute you’re helping a guy find his missing dog (who probably has grown a third leg by now if you know what I mean), and the next, you’re deciding if you’re going to team up with a faction of people who may or may not be hoarding secret nuclear weapons... or just more radioactive snacks. Every decision feels like you're playing 4D chess, except the pieces are sentient blobs of goo, and no one is playing by the rules. It’s like an emotional roller-coaster, but with more bullets and fewer safety precautions.

On a more serious note, the immersion here is insane. The world feels alive. You’re constantly battling not just mutants, but your own survival instincts. Do you engage that group of wandering Stalkers that don't see you lurking in the shadows with your flashlight off? Do you loot that building full of anomalies for an artifact that might explode and rearrange your face? Or do you just leave and pretend you didn’t see it? Decisions, decisions.

In conclusion, S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2 is a masterclass in FPS survival horror. It’s tense, it’s beautiful, and it’s so unforgiving that you’ll love every second of the radioactive wasteland. If you like heart-stopping action, creepy yet cuddly blood sucking, jugular eviscerating monsters, and an environment that’s pretty much always trying to kill you, this game is for you. Just don’t forget to pack some extra bandages and a whole lot of vodka. Because trust me, you’ll need it.

Good hunting, Stalker.

TL;DR - This is a positive review.

It's true this game is hard and you will die and you may rage quit. I will say it played great on a 5 year old rig @1080P. Plays even better on my brand new rig @4K since out of rage I punched a hole through my old monitor and drop-kicked the PC tower.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE DIRT, AND DIGGING!!!!
Wake up in the morning, DIG.
Walk the dog, eat DIRT and DIG together.
Time for breakfast, eat DIRT again.
Work my 9-5 job, jk, call off and DIG.
Lunch time, eat DIRT.
Back to DIGGING.
Dinner time, eat DIRT.
Walk the dog, eat DIRT and DIG together again.
Sit back, relax, and DIG.
Midnight snack time, eat DIRT.
Time for bed, dream about DIGGING.
DIGDIGDIGDIGDIGDIGDIGDIGDIGDIG

Hello, I purchased the $80 Gold Edition to support the devs for one reason and one reason only: to test the server load in early access. Sure, they had a beta test exactly for this, but I wanted to play my role as a pre-orderer. Even though the game isn't officially released yet (comes out the 12th) I am happy to report that I also cannot log in to the TDU servers to play the game. I am overjoyed for the opportunity to be able to take part in this momentous achievement with my fellow $80 pre-ordering family. The constant disconnects that so many of you face if you're able to play, and the unsuccessful login attempts that the others face, simply would not be possible without the devs' decision to give us an $80 chance to make history. I am currently staring with happy tears in my eyes... the ubiquitous error at login screen. Thank you.

Nobody will read my review so I'll just leave my favorite snack below...

Take 1 cup prepared instant ramen noodles and add ketchup, mustard, sauerkraut, mayonnaise, soy sauce, bacon bits, maple syrup, heavy cream, cinnamon, Italian seasoning, relish, vinegar, wasabi, hot sauce, barbecue sauce, potato chips, salt and pepper to taste.

As a curious young child, my mother and father told me I can be anything I want when I grow up, as long as I never stop trying and constantly strive to better myself. So, I became a Pal Breeder of an army of green pandas and gave them rocket launchers.

Great little space mining game. Almost as good as my favorite snack, bacon bits sprinkled on mushrooms with mustard and ketchup.

My favorite thing to do besides playing this game is eating my favorite dish: BBQ baked beans with mustard, ketchup, sweet pickles, and of course, extra Vegemite.

As far as the game, this is a great Run From the Cops Simulator 2023. 10% of your time will be playing the game, 90% of the time you will be running from the cops trying to get to a safehouse.

I do encourage you to try my favorite dish. :D

I can't do this in real life without the G-forces breaking my neck instantly so in this game... I love to be going 250 mph then tap e-brake and turn and decelerate to 25 mph instantly. :D

So the physics might be a little silly at times but this game has some of the best sounds in the market. The ability to custom tune the sound of your exhaust is really cool and I hope it becomes a staple in the genre.