Get your first achievement

Awarded for getting any of the other achievements as your first.

Just unlock any other achievement.


You can't jump

No seriously, we disabled it.

Press the space bar a number of times.


Beat the game

Complete The Stanley Parable.

Follow the narrators guidance to the end. (without the bucket)


Welcome back!

Quit the game and then start it again.

Exit the game and start it again.


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Keep pressing "8" on the keypad in the boss's office.

You need to press the 8's before you enter the correct code.


Click on door 430 five times

Click on door 430 five times.

Door 430 is at the start of the game.

Click it 5 times & follow the narrators guidance. Don't step into the room with the 2 open doors.
The order is: 430 ⁵ ⎺ ²⁵ ⎺ ⁵⁰ ➝ 417 ²⁰ ➝ 437 ³ ➝ 415 ¹⁰ ➝ 437 ¹ ➝ copy machine ¹ ➝ 417 ¹ ➝ climb on 419's desk ¹ ➝ 416 ² ➝ copy machine ¹ ➝ 430 ⁵
If you can't find door 416, it's in the hallway behind the "new content" door.


Settings World Champion

Set all settings sliders in the menu to all the available numbers.

Alter each ☛ slider, checkbox and list ☚ to each possible value.

Beware of hidden options behind the "Show Subtitles" & "Show Translation Labels" checkboxes!
You can use keyboard and/or mouse. Here's a detailed version:
https://test-steamproxy.haloskins.io/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2800623383 Bonus: When you return to the exhibition hall the settings world champion door is unlocked🔓


Test achievement please ignore

Test achievement description! Replace this!

The solution contains a lot of spoilers! Experience the game first?

• Just play the game the normal way. After a while a door with "New Content" appears
  (just before the 2-open-doors room). Enter this door and experience it's content.
  
• Enter this door again when you're able to do so.
  
• Go to the "Collectibles'' room inside the exposition hall and collect your first figurine.
  (Interacting with the machine inside the "Free Achievement" room is optional)
  
• Find the remaining 5 figurines once the game restarts:
  https://test-steamproxy.haloskins.io/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2800690749
  
• When you found the last one, you'll be presented with a new story line on the next restart.
  
• Once you've completed it & started up the game at least 5 times, the Epilogue is unlocked. Return to the main menu and play it.
  
• Agree to the number increase when asked.
  (If you decline, you only need to restart the Epilogue to choose otherwise.)
  
• Start a new game and head back to the exposition hall. Now use the machine! 🎰 :)

Speed run

Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds.

(not including loading times) In order to beat this time:

• Have the narrator open the boss's hidden passage automatically. (only without the bucket)
  ↳ Quick way to unlock it: Enter the code 2-8-4-5 before the narrator reveals it. ➝ Restart.
  
• Keep reloading the game until you start in a shorter corridor leading to the 2-doors room.
  
• Try to save every second on the way. The achievement unlocks once you "step-out".
  
• You can climb on the first chair & desk in the monitor room and jump onto the rising bridge to save some time. Be careful not to fall down though! Or see what happens. 😜

Super Go Outside

Don't play The Stanley Parable for ten years.

Don't play the game for 10 years!

... or disconnect the internet / set Steam to "offline mode". (Steam's certificates ain't valid in 10y)
Now set your local time 10 years in the future and launch the game again. Time travel tip:
Pause other internet activities as well. Your cookies might feel expired and erase themself. 🌑


Commitment

Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.

Start the game on Monday and leave it running until Wednesday!

You can pause the game, turn on windowed mode and leave it unfocused in the background.
Leaving the PC in lock screen or hibernation mode works as well.

The game seems to count every completed hour done on a tuesday.
Therefore you can start the game on Monday 11pm to get the achievement on Tuesday 11pm.
In Ultra Deluxe you can gain it in multiple sessions. Your playtime on Tuesdays will be combined!

... or start the challenge at any time:

• Set your local time to Monday, a few minutes before midnight and launch the game.
  
• Leave it running for 24 hours.

... or shorten the wait by using the "cheat engine" program (y0u d1r7y h4ck3r):

• Start the game with your local time set to Monday and wait for midnight.
  
• Attach the cheat engine to the game and enable "speedhack". Set the speed to ~500x.
  
• Wait until 24hrs have passed in-game (~5 min, check Stanley's office clock as a reference).
  
• Now set your local time to Wednesday and the achievement will be unlocked.

... or gain it by going into the bios while playing (for experienced users):
You might need to enable hibernation mode[web.archive.org]. Be careful and stay safe. 🌼
https://test-steamproxy.haloskins.io/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=208277522

Thanks for reading my guide. I hope it was helpful to you.
If you have questions or hints: feel free to write them in the comments.

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