If you've ever thought, "I wish I could punch someone so hard they travel back in time," then congratulations-you've found the perfect game. Mortal Kombat 11 is the 11th installment in a series known for three things:

• Gratuitous violence.

• Iconic characters.

• The ability to rip someone's head off and still get rated Teen in some countries.

At its core, MK11 is a fighting game, but let's be honest-it's really a gruesome cartoon disguised as an Olympic punching simulator.

Choosing your character is like picking a fighter for a UFC match, but the stakes are life and death. Each character has unique abilities, quirks, and a general disregard for human anatomy. Here's a quick rundown:

• Scorpion: The face of Mortal Kombat.

He's got a spear, a fiery temper, and enough rage to fuel three seasons of a soap opera.

• Sub-Zero: Cool as ice, but not above freezing you into a popsicle and shattering you. He's what happens when Elsa decides to go to the dark side.

Johnny Cage: Hollywood's biggest diva. His main attack is punching you where it hurts most, and his secondary attack is making you question your Life choices.

• Sonya Blade: Military badass. Her fists are registered weapons, and her disdain for Johnny Cage is her secret weapon.

• Goro: Four arms, no chill. He's like your worst nightmare multiplied by two.

Pro tip: Pick someone who makes you laugh or someone who can spam one move until your opponent gives up. Both are valid strategies.

Congratulations! You've entered the most exciting (and embarrassing) part of Mortal Kombat 11: the button-mashing phase. At this point, your hands are flailing across the controller like an octopus playing the piano. Here's what to expect:

• You'll accidentally taunt instead of blocking.

• You'll execute an amazing move you can never replicate.

• You'll forget that jumping isn't a viable long-term strategy.

Tip: Just press buttons with confidence.

Your opponent doesn't know you're panicking if you scream loud enough.

Combos are the bread and butter of MK11, but let's face it-memorizing them is like trying to recite Shakespeare while being chased by a bear.

Beginner Strategy:

• Find one move that works.

• Spam it.

Bask in the glory of your cheap victory.

Advanced Strategy:

Spend hours in practice mode.

• Attempt a 10-hit combo in a real match.

• Immediately get uppercutted into oblivion.

When your health bar looks like a sad sliver of hope, it's time to unleash your Fatal Blow. This is a flashy, gruesome attack that screams, "I'm not dead yet!"

Examples include:

• Scorpion impaling you with a spear, setting you on fire, and still somehow keeping a straight face.

• Johnny Cage kicking your face so hard, you can see his ego reflected in your tears.

Use it wisely-or spam it like the panic button it truly is.

Fatalities are the cherry on top of the murder sundae. They're overly complicated, disgustingly violent, and absolutely worth every second. Some classics include:

• "Heart Condition" by Kano: He rips out your heart like he's auditioning for Grey's Anatomy.

• "Head Out" by Cassie Cage: She shoots your head off and takes a selfie with your corpse. Social media gold.

• "Face Off" by Sub-Zero: He literally rips your face off like it's a peel-off mask. Spa day ruined.

Pro tip: If you can't remember the input, just pause the game and pretend you're strategizing. Your opponent will love waiting for their impending doom.

The MK11 story mode is an epic tale of betrayal, time travel, and poor decision-making. Without spoiling too much, here's a quick summary:

• Kronika, a bald time god with a clock obsession, wants to rewrite history.

• Raiden, the god of thunder, is still bad at solving problems without punching people.

• Liu Kang and Kitana are basically prom king and queen of the Mortal Kombat universe.

You'll fight, you'll cry, and you'll wonder how Raiden hasn't been fired yet.

The Krypt is a treasure-filled maze where you can unlock new costumes, fatalities, and your own existential dread. Highlights include:

• Spending 5,000 coins to open a chest filled with concept art. Yay?

• Random jump-scares because Mortal Kombat hates your nerves.

• Realizing you'll never find that one specific skin you wanted.

Pro Tip: Just Google a map. Life's too short to wander aimlessly.

Playing MK11 online is like stepping into Thunderdome. Here's what to expect:

• Lag Excuses: If you lose, it's because of lag. If you win, it's because you're a legend.

• Combo Kings: They've memorized every move since Mortal Kombat 1. Pray for mercy.

• Button Mashers: The wild cards. They win by sheer chaos, and it's terrifying.

Pro Tip: Trash talk is half the battle. Say something like, "Nice Fatality, but I was texting the whole match."

Because ripping someone's spine out has never been this fun. Whether you're a casual player or a hardcore kombatant, Mortal Kombat 11 has something for everyone: violence, humor, and the chance to yell "GET OVER HERE!" at your friends.

Remember, in the world of Mortal Kombat, the only thing deadlier than the fatalities are the friendships you'll ruin along the way. Now go forth, punch buttons, and make Shao Kahn proud.

Finish Him!