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Imagine Jackie Chan, but he’s blackout drunk and also has +3 to Vibes.
This isn’t just a build — it’s a lifestyle.
You don’t play the game. You stumble through it, one haymaker at a time.

Base Class: Monk
Subclass: Way of the Drunken Master (obviously)
Race: Wood Elf (for max zoomies), or Half-Orc (for the “I won’t die sober” aesthetic)
Stats Priority:

DEX (Dodge & Hit like a blur)

WIS (You’re drunk, not dumb)

CON (You will get punched, be ready)

Background: Entertainer or Charlatan. You do it for the plot.


You run in.

You fall over (on purpose).

You stand up like nothing happened.

You punch someone in the kidneys 4 times.

You bonus action kick their soul out.

Style points come first. Survival comes second. Sober third.

✅ Flurry of Blows – Throw hands like rent’s due
✅ Drunken Technique – Free disengage? Bro, you just cartwheeled outta danger
✅ Step of the Wind – “I can fly” but monk edition
✅ Patient Defense – “I sit down and you miss me lol”


Only drink in dialogue

Always end fights with “Was that real or did I imagine that?”

Call your fists "left flask" and "right flask"

Flirt with every tavern owner you meet

PROS:
✅ Matrix dodges
✅ Infinite mobility
✅ Punches per minute: NASA level
✅ Voted "Most Fun to Watch Fall Over" in camp

CONS:
❌ Low damage vs. metal doors
❌ Needs short rests like a guy needs a nap after 2 beers
❌ No shoes = cold feet in Underdark


Gloves of Soul Catching – Punches but make it anime

Boots of Speed – Sonic but blitzed

Any robe that makes you look like you got kicked out of a monastery for partying]

Final Thoughts 🍻

If you like kung-fu chaos, anime dodges, and RP that makes the paladin judge you — the Drunken Monk is for you.
Remember: you don’t need armor when you have audacity.

“I’m not drunk, I’m enlightened… sideways.” – You, before roundhouse-kicking a Beholder