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HOW TO BE JACK

By Ἀλκιβιάδης

Ever wondered how to become the ultimate edgy cyborg ninja with a tragic backstory and a badass katana? Welcome to HOW TO BE JACK — your one-way ticket to questioning your humanity at 3 AM.

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Created by

Ἀλκιβιάδης
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Category: Characters

Languages: English

Posted

Updated

1 Jun @ 12:29pm

1 Jun @ 12:42pm

304	Unique Visitors
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Guide Index

Overview

YOUR WAY TO BE JACK

JACKING

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YOUR WAY TO BE JACK

So, you wanna be Jack, huh? You wanna walk in the rain, eyes glowing red, katana in hand, cutting through enemies like a hot knife through existential dread?
Alright, listen up. Here’s the blueprint:

1️⃣: Get Smart, Get Rich

Start by enrolling in the nearest Economics department. Forget philosophy. Forget art. Just get that degree and secure the bag. Jack isn’t a starving artist—he’s a calculated killer with a retirement plan (even if he’ll never use it). Money will fuel your next steps.

2️⃣: Find a Genetic Engineer

With your newfound riches, invest in a genetic engineer. Not just any—find the best. Offer them a deal they can’t refuse: "Turn me into a cyborg. Full package. Enhance everything."
You’ll get titanium bones, carbon fiber muscles, and a jawline that can cut glass. This isn’t just an upgrade. This is your rebirth.

3️⃣: Train with a Katana

Now that you’ve got the hardware, it’s time to learn the blade.
Join the nearest kendo dojo. Bow respectfully. Train relentlessly. Learn the difference between a cut that slices flesh and a cut that severs fate. When your sensei tells you to stop, you keep going.
Jack’s not just a ninja. Jack is the ninja.

4️⃣: Embrace the Edge

Remember: being Jack isn’t just about fighting. It’s about the vibe.

Stand in the rain, sword in hand, eyes glowing.

Whisper cryptic lines like, "I am lightning, the rain transformed."

Fight for justice, but never let them forget you enjoy the violence a little too much.

Keep your trauma close. Let it fuel you. Let it break you. Let it define you.

5️⃣: Rules of Nature, Baby

When the guitar riffs hit and the lyrics scream "RULES OF NATURE!", you know what to do:
Unleash the blade. Tear through mechs, tanks, and bad guys like they owe you money.
And when the world asks, "Are you hero or villain?", you look them dead in the eye and say,
"Does it even matter?"

This is the path. This is the way of the Jack.
Now go. Walk your own path. Slice responsibly. And remember:
Nanomachines, son.

JACKING

3 Comments

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Johnnysaurus04 19 hours ago

Jacking my Rising Metal Gear rn.....

Gibus Gaming 4 Jun @ 5:14pm

id like to imagine the music in the game is actually just jack playing it through his cybernetic enhancements so he feels cooler while fighting

Old Bell 1 Jun @ 12:49pm

Bro, I followed every step and now I’m broke, my sensei kicked me out, and the genetic engineer ghosted me. But at least I look cool in the rain. 10/10 guide, would recommend.

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