Here you will learn the secret ending of Our Darker Purpose, in which the administrators give up the key of Edgewood after stealing your money.
This is a funny thing to do, that will make you feel very powerful, and it also contains an interesting trick...
To get this special ending (keep in mind that this will actually crash the game), follow the steps:


1- You want to be a Victorious Valedictorian. This is the hardest step by far.

2- Start a game (normal mode is higly recommanded) with the Storytime perk (which is the Victorious Valedictorian reward).

3- NEVER pick up or buy any active item that actually has an "on use" effect. Bloodfather hand, Goneril's Hammer, Regan's Lunchbox and the Stolen Seconds are ok. This goes for the whole process until last step. Finally, DO NOT pick up/buy the Trapstem Rose, the Weeping Plant, or the Van de Graaff Playset (or any other item that comes to your mind that could deal damages to enemies without you doing anything)

4- Now you will have to reach Goneril with both the Nimble Medal and at least one of the three basic dodge items (Ray's, Garbovan's, or Cy's) or the Merit Slippers (loaded). The Fragile Roly Poly can also do the trick, but will require you to keep at the screen during the whole grind process (see step 7), and will only work if you play without the Vanishing perk.

The steps 5, 6 and 7 are illustrated below with screenshots, if that can be helpful.

5- Get rid of the whole Fortress and just keep Goneril alive. You want to reduce her HP as much as possible, but without killing her..

6- If you did it correctly, Goneril should now hit you without actually damaging you (0 damage points). If you are in hard mode, the spiky balls shouldn't damage you after the fortress is destroyed. Normal mode is still advised though.

7- Now wait IN A CORNER (otherwise Goneril will jump and the purple electricity waves can still damage you) and your tokens number will rise. Of course, this can only work if you don't deal "passive" damages to her via Trapstem Rose, the Weeping Plant, or Van the Graaff Playset. This may take a while if your dodge value is low, so keep the game in the background or go cook pancakes. If you are doing the Fragile Roly Poly variant, don't forget to roll over and over in order to earn your tokens.

8- Enjoy the tokens as much as you can. If you have the right lessons, it can mean tremendous amounts of damage: Bloodfather hand + fragile glassware + sensitive floor got me about 8500 damages per hit without aknowledging the multiple shots !! And I "only" had about 700 tokens. Keep in mind that buying indefinitely will end the game (see step 10)

9- When you are done enjoying yourself, find a vending machine.

10- Buy the last three (or four) items, use your Storytime (the Victorious Valedictorian perk) to reset the machine (unless you did pick up an on-use item, which you shouldn't have done), and repeat until Edgewood shuts down and the administrators go live the rest of their life in Hawaii with your money. This will result in your game crashing. They screwed us to the very end, didn't they...

Any questions at jean.vanvyve@hotmail.com

Here you can see how Goneril doesn't actually hurt anymore when she is very low on life.





Here you can see what kind of stuff is needed for this to work (the guide describes it in details).
You can notice how the number of tokens keeps increasing.


I decided to stop when I reached about 700 tokens, because my stuff configuration made the grind kind of slow and I calculated that it was enough to buy every item in the game.


What this trick allows you to do having the right build.

The 0 damage run is my highest pride.
The fastest run time is also pretty good I think ;) see if you can top that.