Lennon, the cat: You guys are touching each other *AGAIN*?

Me: bestie why you looking at MORE tickets hahaa

Aggie: I was peeing for dad and brother maybe, and theirs are going down

Me: excuse me what?

Me: pee for the whole family why don't you

Aggie: My nail doesn't look longer, I think it's just because of the French

Me: Now that's something I can get behind!

Random: Purple, blue....you guys have sex?

Aggie and I:...yes?

Random: I could tell, you gave him your AK.

"I was gonna hoover today, but I just don't have the power of Bombadil"

(cue the dramatic pause and laughter)