Good evening Mr.Bsep, this is Dr. Semena from Bob’s DNA Testing. I'm afraid we have some grave news: your son is, in fact, not biologically related to you. After three rounds of Compatibility Understanding Measurements (♥♥♥), we have confirmed your suspicions that your son is not related to you or your wife at all. However, his DNA is a 69.420% match with the genome of internet celebrity Ninja, who regrettably passed away recently due to a hereditary condition called Ligma. We suspect that he may be Ninja's girlfriend's abortion, who crawled out of the toilet and took your biological son's place in the baby bedding. If this is true, then he has a 99% chance of contracting the same disease his father, Ninja, died of very soon. Again, it is truly unfortunate that such an occurrence happened, you can call our number or visit our website if you wish to acquire more info or details. If you wish to contact me, you know my email.

Our condolences

Dr. Semena,
Bob’s DNA Testing

fgvbchdb

____
/ \
u u| _______
\ | .-''#%&#&%#``-.
= / ((%&#&#&%&VK&%&))
| `-._#%&##&%_.-'
/\/\`--. `-."".-'
| | \ /`./
|\/| \ `-' /
|| | \ /

🔞Hypothetically🤔...if🙈like 🔗you 🙎🏿‍♂️were ♥♥♥♥♥ 😋and I🙎‍♂️ was 💎♥♥♥♥♥ 😥and we👨‍❤️‍👨 was 🗾just ⌛like🔛 super⏫ ♥♥♥♥♥💯or🤷‍♂️ whatever🤣 like 😵would ⬆️you 🙎🏿‍♂️be 💯down⬇️ to ☣️kiss👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨?

Since birth I have been blessed with gigantic foreskin. Due to this blessing, I no longer require condoms. "Why?" I hear you asking. Well, have you ever tied a water balloon? If you have, then you must be aware that it pretty much blocks all forms of liquid from coming out.

Now, since my foreskin looks like an empty water balloon, all I gotta do is tie off the end and get to the filling after I have finished.

Also makes a good trick at birthday parties if you've ran out of balloons to throw at your nephew. Save yourself money people.

.......................,,-~*~,,
......................./:.:.:.:.:.|
......................|;.;.;.;.;./
......................|.;.;.;.;.|
............._,,,,,_.).;.;.;.;.|
.........,,-":.:.:.:."~-,;.;.;.|
........(_,,,,---,,_:.:.);.;.;..",,
......,-":.:.:.:.:.""-,,/;.;.;.;.;.",
.....(:.__,,,,,,,,,___);.;.;.;.;.;|
...../"":.:.:.:.:.:.:¯""\;.;.;.;.;.,"
....\",__,,,,,,,,,,,__/;;;;;;;;;/\
.....\.::.:.:.:.:.:.:.;.);;;;;;;;;/:\
.......\,,,,,---~~~~;;;;;;;;,"::::\
.........."""~~--,,,,,,,,,,-"::::::::::\
...................\::::::::::::::::::::::
░░░░You're A Great Friend!░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░Because you're very░░░░░
░█▀▀ ░█▀█ ░█ ░█▀▀ ░░░░░
░█▀▀ ░█▀▀ ░█ ░█ ░░░░░░░
░▀▀▀ ░▀ ░░░▀ ░▀▀▀ ░░░░░