"Bring back the straightening jackets!"
"Well, I don't know how many years on this earth I have left. I'm gonna get real weird with it. Meanwhile, block the wind, I'm gonna roast this bone."
"I loved that baby in the water. I was trying to wash him but he fell in the river."
"Never put a swastika on a pizza."
"Ha! Nice try! I'm not reading any more. I'm a feminist, thank you very much."
"The glory hole is up and running, baby!"
"Noah, is this true? That you just raw dog in the puss?"
"We are anonymous. We are legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us."
"These are great days we're living, bros. We are Jolly Green Giants walking the earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back, we're going to miss not having anyone worth shooting."
"If you see a guy that looks like me in porn, he's tied up and someone is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ his wife right in front of him. That's my porn look, I'm like, hey, that guy looks like me. I hit play, he's like 'Honey, noooo!' They're putting lipstick on him and a shoe in his ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I'm like, hey, what the hell, get that off of me. I don't like that."
"I got a question about you morticians, you bang the dead bodies? I imagine stuff like that goes on all the time. Man, I don't give a ♥♥♥♥, if I was dead you could bang me all you want. Who cares? Dead body is like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much ♥♥♥♥ in there as you want. Fill me up with cream, make a stew up my ass, what's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river, who gives a ♥♥♥♥? You're dead, you're dead."
"Sometimes I feel bad because, secretly, I hope New Orleans gets nailed again. But, then, I don't."
"No. The Spaniards banged the Mayans, turned them into Mexicans."
"Just let me in there. He was like nope, we can't do that unless you have kids w/you, you're welcome to come back on adult night when there are no kids on the property but we just don't let men into Lego Land alone. I was like why? Because we are trying to decrease kidnapping...which I thought was an interesting choice of words. What do you mean, decrease, not eliminate? That's like Lego Land saying 'we know some kids gonna get got.'"
"Eyes on me. Check it out, check out your mom's abs. Look at 'em, look at 'em, Ira, those are the abs you want in a woman. Yeah, Teri, dream on."
"Suicide is bad-ass."
"Hey, folks, 90 degrees outside, beautiful day for an abortion. We got some dark clouds comin' in..."
"He's all crippled up now."
"He was such a prolific colonizer of vaginas."
"Some gold plated chains would make a nice retirement gift for a very, very good slave."
"It's a slippery slope. We start giving it up for the moms and then some guy in the back with a weird eagle tattoo, he's got some ideas...about what we got to give it up for next. Right? So...it's not about you, buddy, it's just, ahhh, a bad precedent to set."
"How much mascara until this cat looks like a ♥♥♥♥♥?"
"Folks, over by the NBC booth, you'll see the cast of Chuck, pretending to like you. So, come on over, and pretend to like them. Let's all take part in the big lie together."
"I'm inside my head."

https://www.last.fm/user/chromaholic