>says "i''m bored"
>instant headshotting everyone

I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

R

>be me
>work at bank as a clerk
>decent enough job
>client comes in, dude is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ millionaire so have to give VIP service
>puts the most ridiculous ♥♥♥♥ in the bank: entire sharks, a weird marionette, a priceless ancient sword wielded by a literal ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ god
>one day he comes in to withdraw some stuff
>asks for ten leather, a needle, and thread

>he puts the needle into the leather
>within one second it is an entire expertly crafted pair of leather chaps
>what the ♥♥♥♥
>he ♥♥♥♥♥♥' does it again without any hesitation
>this man is like a leather Picasso working like clockwork
>after several hundred chaps he racially abuses a gnome and teleports away

+rep black ♥♥♥♥♥