Wizard?
You ain't no wizard.
You ain't even an apprentice.
You ain't got no tongs.
You ain't go no orb.
Ain't got no dark library.
Ain't even got no staff.
Get out of here, Whizzer

hahahahahaha

-> The People’s Committee nationalizes your entire body and votes to extract your kidney
-> A state hospital removes your kidney
-> Since the hospital can’t afford anesthesia, sterile tools, or anything remotely resembling medical care, a drunk doctor uses a butter knife to remove it, resulting in an infection
-> You ask the hospital for treatment, because otherwise you’ll "fall off the little bike" (a Polish idiom for dying)
-> The hospital says you need to join the waiting list—treatment available in 20 years
-> The hospital calls the militia
-> You’re thrown out into the street and die
-> Starving people eat your corpse
-> Another great victory for socialism.

-> You keep crawling, almost home
-> You meet Bernie
-> Bernie sues you for not using public transportation
-> As a party official, Bernie uses his influence to absolutely ruin your life
-> You’re fined 90,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars
-> You can’t pay because you already used all your savings as toilet paper

-> The year is 2025
-> Bernie Sanders announces he’s running for president
-> A few months later, Bernie Sanders wins the election
-> You walk to work along a government-owned road (You'll get a car from the state in 15 years, but only if it's eco-friendly)
-> Your leg falls into a pothole
-> You tumble into a tree and break your neck
-> You write a complaint to the local office
-> The office rejects your complaint and charges you an administrative fee
-> You request a state-issued wheelchair, which you'll receive in 7 years
-> The office fines you for violating the directive on safe mobility
-> You pay a 900,000,000,000 dollar fine (hyperinflation)
-> You wait a few days for the dollar to devalue even more, then pay the fine
-> You crawl from the office back to your home
-> You ask passersby for help
-> They ignore you, saying it’s the state’s job to help people, not private individuals

Thick thighs save lives
Between 'em, you got nine lives